What defines us - thoughts or actions?

[Go ahead]

Actually, the question is in the title.
Why did it arise - sometimes there are thoughts that frighten. And, of course, I most often do not implement them - well, I’m like a decent person and all that (even in front of myself - but how will I look at myself in the mirror tomorrow after this?). After some thoughts, thoughts begin to appear - am I a mentally normal person? Three people know about all my quirks - two close friends (to match me) and my husband (and even then, not all of them).
Many would say - well, to hell with them, these are just thoughts. But I doubt it. After all, sometimes some thought begins to be obsessive, and then nevertheless breaks out in the form of an action. If, for example, the mood, time, place and environment coincide. In short, as they say, the stars aligned. And somewhere they didn’t agree.
Stereotypes, internal attitudes, etc. warn against embodying some thoughts. The struggle of desire (true, internal, inherent in you) with these attitudes (most often imposed by society) also most often prevents the thought from coming true.
What do you think? We are what we think, or what we do?
Just don’t give the example of the fable about two wolves... for me, it doesn’t fit in this situation.
I still I am inclined to believe that thoughts define us. And that if you have already thought that you are doing all sorts of crap, then you need to think hard about it, even if it is not implemented. And my husband periodically reassures me that I am not a pervert, and seem to be a normal person, until I realize these thoughts. And like everyone seems to be normal people sometimes have moronic thoughts and it doesn’t mean anything

[alexandr.lvov]

As they say, what a sober man has in mind, a drunk man does in his actions. It turns out that our thoughts and desires push us to take one or other actions. As they say, measure twice, act once. There are more perverted secret thoughts than actions. Therefore, in my opinion, I think that we are defined by our actions. And everyone’s thoughts are strange, vulgar, depraved. And this is normal, because if people could read each other’s thoughts, then we would be judged by our secret thoughts, and not by our actions. Everything is logical, in my opinion.

[cherry_man]

We are what we do. Actions paint us. We are responsible for our actions. Thoughts (not yet turned into actions) can change over time. In any case, thoughts are what are hidden from other people around us. Actions are visible.

[RikiRrr]

AmberaMaze, having read one smart book (the cotton of one palms) I can say that the answer to the question on the topic will be this: yes, anything, not only our thoughts and actions determine and shape us, but even before a bunch of everything else, our past, the actions and words of other people, even banal strangers, climate, place of residence, recently scientists have argued that even the language we speak also determines our thinking.
So the most important thing for me is to be honest with yourself, because when you lie to yourself, you begin to confuse yourself, in thoughts, feelings, desires. Something like this)

[SashkaBishka]

Well, depending on which side you look at. People around us know us precisely by our actions. But only we know what we really are, and such a deception suits everyone, such a universal masquerade. Sometimes you meet a person, and you can’t overcome the feeling of insincerity, how he chooses phrases that are convenient for you... But even if thoughts and actions correspond, complete trash will begin. So it turns out that for society we are determined by our actions, and for ourselves (and our immediate environment) by our thoughts. Everyone is wearing masks, but you shouldn’t take them off

[Henson]

Thoughts are just thoughts. How many times a day do we think about not the most pleasant things... you’re on the bus, your grandmother stepped on your foot and didn’t even apologize - you thought to yourself “let a truck run over you,” you exhale and move on. Fantasies are just fantasies because there are no consequences. But actions are more often evaluated even in isolation from intentions, because the result itself is important