Ephemeral love and fantasies. Really want to...

[Mihaaa 4]

Oh, how, I wrote without noticing that I had not logged into my account and immediately turned into "Niads". Strange nickname.

[Polly]

Miha3324, I don’t know if everything is clear with the relationship or not It’s clear. You don’t know what awaits you tomorrow. Sometimes you don’t know what to expect from yourself. And you don’t even know what to expect (or not to expect) from another person. I don’t expect passion from him. I enjoy it. I’m happy that I have the opportunity to communicate and sometimes be close. Our relationship is friendly and working at the same time. Will they develop into something? Yes, anything can happen. Life is unpredictable and spontaneous. Some people live in happy marriages for 10 years, and then some events happen and everything changes.
I don’t make any guesses. I can’t let go. For now I’m just enjoying it. And I love it very much. We are not often together, but when this happens, these are the happiest moments. I love his laugh, his smell, his hands. Women are fools, what can we take from us)

[Mihaaa 4]

I enjoy it. I am happy that there is an opportunity to communicate, sometimes to be close

It also makes me happy that you are happy in communication and friendship.

[Polly]

you are happy in communication and friendship

I am happy in any favorable situation with this person)

[In Luke]

Polly, it’s good that this relationship, even if not They give mutual joy!
It became interesting, how famous is this person? Let’s say I can know him?

[Polly]

Lookas, Yes, of course. You know

[In Luke]

Polly, it’s just very interesting.
I remember your story and wonder if anything has changed or not.

[Polly]

Lookas, you can write to me in PM. This is not forbidden)

[Hair shirt]

Yes, of course. Do you know

Is this not Putin by any chance?

But seriously, I I think you need to finally take the initiative and get this guy into bed.
But first you need to try to understand this guy, understand the motives of his behavior towards you.
You are an adult, you have there is fantasy and imagination, It’s not for nothing that you read all sorts of different books in childhood and adolescence?

Then imagine how this person can live and what this person can think. He has a job, he has some obligations to different people. There may even be some obligations for which they could kill. Well, he took a lot of money from someone there for something.
If he is a musician, then something is scheduled for months in advance. You have to juggle in all this, be on time everywhere, and make a lot of compromises. Constantly trying to sort something out with someone.

What I mean is that a very busy person has little room in his head for romance. In general, it should be noted that falling in love, romance, butterflies in the stomach - these are all things that accompany the absence of hard, exhausting work, the absence of a rude and tactless environment. And also the absence of problems with finances and personal living space.
I also mean that a person who left his home for a big city to work on a so-called shift, as a rule, does not have time for all these loves. Because you have a 12-hour shift on an assembly line. And you live right next door in a trailer in which several people live with you. And you don’t even have your own bed, and while you’re on shift, someone else is sleeping on your bed.

Can you imagine all this? Now imagine that all this fucked up has an organizer. Who came up with all this and who is the boss of all this, and who receives profit from all these half-slaves who work for him.
Imagine?
But now imagine that your object of love is this the same organizer for whom a certain number of people work hard and exhaustingly, and sometimes for pennies. And this man knows about all this because he organized all this fucked up. When someone works for pennies, and someone for some kind of mistake, like breaking or ruining some expensive equipment, and someone was completely thrown away and not paid for some time.

Represented?
I am writing all this not so that your eyes will open to this person, but so that you can imagine how this object of your love lives. You have butterflies in your stomach, but he has money on his mind. And not because he is greedy or a maniac. But simply because this is his life that he lives. All of his daily activities are ultimately reduced to making money because he does not earn money himself, but he is a cog in the mechanism that does it.

And he simply no longer has time for butterflies in a stomach. In order for him to come even for a moment closer to your state, he must be torn away from his activities, sent somewhere very far away - to Thailand. Give him a young Thai woman, take away his mobile phone and take away the money for a return ticket and leave it only for pocket expenses. And leave it there for at least six months.
Sea, Thai food, swimming pool in the morning, fresh fruit, seafood...

And maybe in six months it will be a little closer to your current one condition.
Well, now you are both simply from different worlds.
Can you imagine the life of a reindeer herder in Yakutia? Deer, a yaranga in which everyone lives together, including children and dogs. In which everyone sleeps under the same fur blanket, under which your brother and his wife are fucking right next to you. And on the other hand, your dad is fucking your mom here and now.
Can you imagine?
So between your object of love and you there is the same distance as between you and those reindeer herders.

That’s why I think that your love is unrequited. The object of your love is not a slacker prince who, like you, is romantically inclined and is looking for the love of his life. I think that in order to somehow resolve this whole situation, you just need to drag this guy into bed. Well, in other words, just organize sex with him.

I read posts on this topic on this forum and I conclude that people of both sexes often create problems for themselves and others out of nowhere. That is, they find problems where there were none to begin with. Well, for example, just today I’m reading a whole topic about how one girl at her work fell for a man twenty years older than herself. And she is ready to sleep with him literally at his slightest request and without any relationship. Well, a person fell for another and that’s it!

But no! According to her, they walk next to each other for almost six months and do nothing but smile at each other.
A man doesn’t know how to read minds and thinks accordingly...
Yes, he thinks whatever he wants. And the fact that someone is now trying to marry him is why he walks around and makes eyes at him. And the fact that someone wants some kind of protection from him because he can do something in this organization. And in general, during his life, this man has already become accustomed to the fact that most women are mercantile and that if someone makes eyes at you, it means they need something from you.

Again, this guy has been working in one corporation or another for a long time and is familiar with this office hypocrisy and this office corporate culture when some are friends against others. And here some long-legged fifa walks around, flashing her tits and pussies, making eyes and who knows what to expect from her. Right now you’ll fuck her, and then a video will appear from the office video camera where you lick her pussy on your desktop.
And here’s the fuck up of your seemingly successful career.
People generally come to one or the other other offices, first of all, make a career, earn money, grow career, and not miss a single skirt.

But that girl, just like you, doesn’t understand all this at all and she’s worried about her butterflies in the stomach.
Although in fact, if it’s just a matter of butterflies and you don’t need anything else from a guy, then nothing stops you from just approaching a guy and inviting him to a sauna with a room for two. And tell him that you are paying for the sauna, and from him a time convenient for him to book a sauna and a drink and a snack.

Or vice versa - from him a sauna that he chooses, and from you a drink and a snack. I think that the man will play it safe and choose the sauna, and you will have to buy snacks and drinks. Or maybe just say that he organizes everything himself - the sauna, drinks and snacks. But then there is the option that he will sit down later, think carefully and release everything on the brakes, citing some kind of force majeure.

Therefore, it is still better to take over the organization of the sauna and get only information from him about what time to book a room in the sauna. And it will be difficult for him to roll back when the money has been paid and you seem to be waiting.
Well, then nothing stops you from fucking your object of love, finally calming your butterflies. Perhaps after sex with your object of love, something will change. And I think that this should definitely be done and not beat around the bush and not suffer on this topic.

[Hair shirt]

I was so shy that she and I studied until the 11th grade, and I never decided to admit to her my feelings for her

Yes, this the most common development of events for young people under 25 years of age.
Shyness, shyness, indecisiveness. A swarm of thoughts in my head ranging from "what will people think" to "she and everyone will laugh at me".
And having worked himself up, the young man then, out of despair, runs somewhere to a secluded place and jerks off furiously. And then he splashes out on the wall with relief, and he feels better. It seems like he didn’t jerk off, but almost fucked the object of his love. And so on until next time.

And all you need to do is approach the object of your crush and say it straight out - I really like you. I don’t know for sure if I love you, but I really like your figure, your breasts, the curve of your ass. And I really dream of touching them - both breasts and ass. And I also want to kiss the nipple on your chest. I want to touch and caress him with my tongue.
And then continue - I know that you want this too. Let’s go somewhere where no one will disturb us.

But this text seems pure madness to young people and they think that they will simply be laughed at and mocked later.
And all because that young people, unlike adults, are too strongly tied to the opinions of others about themselves. And they always think first of all how those who know them will react to one or another of their actions.

[Polly]

Isn’t this Putin by any chance?

no, but the success of this man in the past is enough for the majority, if they didn’t know, then at least heard about German

In fact, you lay it all out in great detail. And I agree with a lot. In terms of money\work and butterflies, that’s true. I understand it. My butterflies are my problems. And he really has no time for them and, in general, he is not engaged in the search for great love. Yes, he had never done this before. He’s more of a lone wolf. Despite the fact that there are always a lot of people around and he willingly communicates with them.
I may have initially set the wrong vector in our relationship. He was always more businesslike. Due to this, I largely achieved a closer and more confidential contact with him. She didn’t hang herself on him and didn’t throw her legs up, as his fans sometimes did. And she always made it clear that I didn’t need anything from him. Now I am slowly changing this vector. But there are difficulties. Right now, during this period of life. Not everything is going smoothly for him. And besides work and money, there are still some problems in my head. He definitely won’t approve of any sauna now. I tried to break him out of this running in circles just a couple of weeks ago. But now I realized that I need to change my tactics in communicating with him. 360 degrees

[Hair shirt]

I may have initially set the wrong vector in our relationship. He was always more businesslike. Due to this, I largely achieved a closer and more confidential contact with him. She didn’t hang herself on him and didn’t throw her legs up, as his fans sometimes did. And she always made it clear that I didn’t need anything from him. Now I am slowly changing this vector. But there are difficulties. Right now, during this period of life. Not everything is going smoothly for him. And besides work and money, there are still some problems in my head. He definitely won’t approve of any sauna now. I tried to break him out of this running in circles just a couple of weeks ago. But now I realized that I need to change my tactics in communicating with him. 360 degrees

There is such a common concept - the wife of a genius. That is, some woman signs up to live for a genius. Even despite the fact that he wipes his feet on her, even despite the fact that he is fucking someone practically in front of her eyes or is going to do so.

That was the kind of woman for Bunin (this is a writer if you don’t know) his wife. He lived with her, she arranged his life, and he did whatever he wanted and did not deny himself anything. He could start courting some girl right in front of his wife and then that same evening go somewhere with her for the night. Or just lock yourself in the room with her all night. And his wife chewed on all this meekly because she loved him. And again because he is a genius. He can do anything.

But in fact, I think because this wife of his, it seems to me, had too much ambition. And she absolutely knew that she would go down in history as the wife of a genius. That it will definitely be described in memoirs, and maybe even in textbooks. Well, if not at school, then at university for sure. And that her name will not fade into oblivion, but will be known to the public. And during this life, she will also enjoy the attention of the public as long as this public has had enough of this genius.
But another question is whether this wife of a genius will remain with him if suddenly tomorrow everyone decides that he is not a genius, but So. Some kind of upstart and charlatan. Like some Kashpirovsky. Do you know who this is?

I think that all your love is based on the fame of your object of love. If he weren’t famous, I think you wouldn’t sit on the same field with him to shit (pardon me for my French).

[Polly]

If he weren’t famous

you shouldn’t think so. The mention of fame here is only to make the picture clear that everything is not simple. That you are unlikely to bump into someone on the street by chance and you won’t go in for salt either. That there are limits.
Yes, and great fame is already in the past. Now the stadiums will no longer be assembled. Yes, he will be remembered, he went down in history. But to say that he is now in high demand and everyone really wants to get him for an interview or for a concert in their city. No. Everything is much more modest. He also doesn’t have a lot of money, nor does he have anything that follows from this. Essentially, he is a simple person with a colorful past, who still gives concerts, of course, but not as often as he would like. I would even say not very often. In recent years. It’s not the fame that attracts. There are a lot of things that attract me about him. From the inner core and presentation of oneself, to the direct attitude towards me. And everything else. For me, I would have finished with concerts altogether. They are already difficult. And he would remain in people’s memory the same person he was in the 90s. His modern fame makes him neither hot nor cold.

[Hair shirt]

Yes, and the great fame is already in the past. Now the stadiums will no longer be assembled. Yes, he will be remembered, he went down in history. But to say that he is now in high demand and everyone really wants to get him for an interview or for a concert in their city. No. Everything is much more modest.

Let me think a little. The nineties, it won’t fill stadiums anymore. So I collected it. Well, these people whom everyone knows, who packed stadiums, but who are now forgotten, are not so many. About a dozen. Again, you write that he is a musician. Not a vocalist, not a frontman, but a musician. For example, Tsoi can hardly be called a musician. Again, you write that you have gone down in history.
I think that if you sit down and think carefully, you can calculate it. Or at least identify several people.

Well, as for you, urgently treat this illness that you have contracted. Some people call it love, some people call it affection, some people think that it’s just bullshit due to the complete absence of problems in life and well-being.
I had to do military service in the army. Hazing is what they call it, but for me it’s the purest slavery. Have you ever encountered slavery directly? That is, were you in contact with a person, someone’s slave?
And not only did I have contact with them, and I was with them for almost a year.

Slavery is not just a condition of a person when he works for someone for free. This is not slavery, this is how it is, little flowers. Slavery is when a person is psychologically suppressed. When his dignity was completely taken from him. Moreover, when these are not just words, but when this is actually the case.
We can cite as an example the state in which minor children in the family find themselves. But this is also not quite the same because children are not fucked up like that for certain offenses and they are not treated so ruthlessly and rudely.

So that’s when everything is very bad for you and when almost in a slave state, you are unlikely to be visited by what is commonly called love.
What I mean is that, apparently, everything is fine with you right now. So don’t ruin your life with this stupid hobby of yours. Life is full of joys. There is a huge world around. It is large and varied. There are distant countries where life is completely different, a different mentality, a different language, different people. And all this is terribly interesting. All this, of course, requires money. But you are a girl and not a boy, it’s easier for you. You can always and everywhere in five minutes find a local man who will agree to give you shelter for sex and will teach you the language for a whole year or even more, be a guide and conductor everywhere in his country.

And what awaits you with this musician of yours can hardly be called happiness. There is a big difference between you. It is important. Now it’s invisible. Later it will be difficult to pretend and not notice it.
Various sores will begin to appear on him. This will definitely happen. And you will constantly take care of his health. And your whole life will be reduced to the functions of a nurse-nurse. When spouses are the same age, it somehow doesn’t hit the brain too hard and is not so noticeable for both. But when one is healthy and the other constantly has problems, then it will eventually get to anyone.

Again, show-offs. He will become depressed about his past. Once upon a time he collected stadiums, but now...
So, a piece of shit that no one needs.
And he will consider himself a failure for not being able to monetize his talent, his fame in time. And all this shit, as a rule, first of all spills over to those who did not have time to hide. That is, on the closest people. On you if you are nearby.

Well, in general, if you borrowed your life from someone, then go ahead. But if you have only one, and you don’t know exactly how much of that life you intend to live in, then run away as quickly as possible from all this, which, apparently, you haven’t had time to get yourself into yet. But you’re just trying on this big pile of shit that you dream of getting into.

[Polly]

it is possible to calculate

is it so interesting to calculate? What will this knowledge give? Basically nothing) And so is both a musician and a vocalist. And again, the frontman) If this information makes it easier)

Life is full of joys

you won’t believe it, but this is joy for me) And everyone a person is so unique that you can’t safely lump everyone with the same brush) Some people are interested in languages, while others are interested in collecting stamps. Both hobbies bring equal joy. But to insist that this is what’s cool, and the other is completely bullshit, is selfishness and stupidity. Not everyone’s inner world will coincide with yours and not everyone will be interested in what is interesting to you. Honestly? My history aside: I’m not interested in languages ​​or other people. In general, I don’t really like people. Sometimes traveling is interesting, but that’s if you have a good company with whom you can not only collect pebbles on the shore, but also laugh heartily and have fun. But this is also not to say that it’s really mine. I prefer sudden adventures. And traveling around my country, which I do regularly, is quite enough for me.

Various sores will start to appear for him

and who won’t? The sores can appear even at age 20. Age is not always a guarantee of terrible illnesses, just as youth is not a guarantee of their absence. Here you are the same age, everything is cool, young and healthy. And then someone has a stroke and the person, being young and happy, becomes bedridden. And it seemed like they were playing it safe, they found a peer. and fate played such a trick. And what? Quit?

And he will consider himself a failure

well, this is if a person’s creative life ended along with his youth. In my case, a person’s occupation is now so huge and varied (besides concerts) that there is no time to think about how the stadiums were assembled. Still depends on the mood. If no one needs you now, then all you can do is remember the stadiums. And if you have another business not related to music, for example, and you are quite in demand for it, then what’s the point of whining? At least I never heard even a shadow of regret from him about how cool it used to be. A person moves forward and lives for today.

[Hair shirt]

A person moves forward and lives for today.

Is he married?

[Polly]

Is he married?

married, if we talk about the stamp in the passport. In fact, they have not lived with their wife for many years. Have no children.

[Natural selection]

You won’t believe it, but this is joy for me) And each person is so unique that you can’t safely put everyone under the same brush) Some people are interested in languages, while others are interested in collecting stamps. Both hobbies bring equal joy. And insisting that this is what’s cool, and the other is completely bullshit, is selfishness and stupidity.

They say divorce is a very difficult thing in every sense. But let’s say ten years pass and people then remember with surprise and say - why was I so driven ten years ago? What was that all about? Yes, right now I’m just glad that everything turned out this way and that I now have what I have. Otherwise, this burden would drag on and on.

But in general, I know that it is very, very difficult to talk someone out of something. Especially if this person has got something into his head. And apparently he himself must step on all the mistakes that others tell him about. And then somehow free yourself from some of your fetishes.
But you can’t step into the same river twice. Something that will later turn out to be unnecessary will take many years.
I know one person who stupidly got married, lived for seven years, then got divorced. And these seven years are like some kind of lacuna in this person’s life. It’s as if someone took him somewhere far away and returned him seven years later.

Because these seven years were devoted to some goals, some interests, some aspirations. Which turned out to be nothing in the end and crumbled like a sand castle. And the man again returned to the starting point. And all those seven years, it was as if they didn’t exist.
I actually read somewhere that the past exists only in our memory. And the past only exists if you remember it. And if you forgot, it’s as if it never happened.
Well, let’s say you remember completely, day after day, one of those years when you were in school?
Let’s take for example fourth grade, first and second quarter. Do you remember the first of September when you entered fourth grade? Remember all the subjects you took? Do you remember what you lived at that time, what you dreamed about, who exactly you were in love with?

I think it’s unlikely. I think you remember in places and pieces, some from the fifth grade, some from the seventh. Or maybe from the eighth. And so it turns out that all this was actually not that important in this life. This is your schooling. But studying is one thing and conscious life is completely different. School is simply a shelter for young people whose parents have nowhere to go and nothing to do. And now there is a school with all these subjects that confuse the students’ heads and which then no one needs. These square roots and polynomials.
So school is just hopelessness and nothing can be done about it.

But sticking your head into some dubious enterprise on your own, I think, is unnecessary.
And in general, I have a lot of respect for those young people who, despite the pressure from others, still don’t they get married at twenty and are stubborn until the very end and don’t want to stick their head into this collar.
Which I don’t advise you to do either.
But I understand that this only adds to your determination to freeze your ears to spite everyone.

[Polly]

As if someone took him somewhere far away

this is again the story of a specific person and his attitude to life. It is very unfortunate that a person could not live a full life in marriage and this event became such a tragedy and loss of life for him. If marriage initially limits you and you cease to be who you were. If you can no longer do what you loved, then fuck this marriage. One can only feel sorry for him.

Do you remember the first of September

and there are those who remember every day? decades? Day after day. This is basically unrealistic. And about in general terms. What I was interested in, how I lived - of course I remember. I had a very colorful childhood, full of adventures. This is all stored in memory, of course. But if it were gray everyday life, where every day is similar to the next, then it would merge into one gray spot from which it is impossible to single out events and memories. But in my case, fortunately, I have something to remember.

You are talking some kind of nonsense, absolutely. Out of spite? To whom? What do you want? To spite you, I decided not to give up what I strive for? Excuse me, who?)) To spite you and some other mythical people around me, did I do something? Leave your reasons for your loved ones. For a friend who lost part of his life, for those who stuck their heads in the wrong place. For those who are in slavery. (you live in such a terrible place, some kind of horror is happening to people around you) But everything is fine with me) There are temporary difficulties, but everything can be solved)

[Hair shirt]

You are talking some kind of nonsense, absolutely. Out of spite? To whom? What do you want? To spite you, I decided not to give up what I strive for? Excuse me, who?)) To spite you and some other mythical people around me, did I do something? Leave your reasons for your loved ones. For a friend who lost part of his life, for those who stuck their heads in the wrong place. For those who are in slavery. (you live in such a terrible place, some kind of horror is happening to people around you) But everything is fine with me) There are temporary difficulties, but everything can be solved)

No nonsense and not out of spite. It was you, not me, who brought your problem to the general discussion. And judging by everyone, like most people like you, you were not ready for publicity.
If you think that everything is fine with you, that you don’t need anyone’s advice, then why are you writing something here?

And if you write, it means that not everything is so wonderful in this kingdom of yours. Because if you are truly self-sufficient, then you do not need advisers and like-minded people. You don’t need those who will assent to you and confirm to you the correctness of your decisions. Is this what you expect from us, visitors to this forum?
Yes, I write too harshly. Sorry, but I’m trained to write so that the text does not leave the reader indifferent. Again, in order to solve a problem, you must first see it. And if you don’t really notice it, then it’s unlikely that a solution will be found.

Again, as one of the classics of science fiction wrote - in order to ask a question you need to know three-quarters of the answer. I can paraphrase - in order to solve your problem you need to know three-quarters of the way to solve it. How can you know anything about your solution to your problem if you don’t even admit that it exists?
Again, someone here is devoting their time to you, trying to delve into your problems together with you. This alone is worth attention and respect for your interlocutor. No one insults you, no one makes fun of you. But he’s just trying to broaden your view of things a little.

There are good ways to clear your brain. That is, you live and run in this squirrel wheel of yours every day. You suffer for someone, you love someone, you hate someone, you owe money to someone, and you have some obligations to someone. And then - bam! And you were drafted into the army for a year! Well, I’m talking about other times, before the special operation. And I’m talking about men.
And here you are, literally a couple of weeks later, in a completely different reality. A month passes, two, three, and all these difficulties and problems that you had in your peaceful life go somewhere far to the periphery. And at first they are a little worried. And then they are generally replaced by some more important problems at the moment. Which are more pressing. For example, you want to eat and sleep all the time. And still fuck. And somewhere has this tender and reverent love of yours for someone gone. And right now you just want to fool the first woman you come across, of any age, appearance and build.

In my opinion, you need to realize one thing - you are a young, attractive and interesting young woman. It depends. For some a girl, for others a young woman. Cheerful, smiling, good-natured, friendly. Not depressive, not hysterical, not angry and not materialistic.
But this is all while you haven’t gotten yourself into anything yet. Why do people think they become depressed, hysterical, angry and materialistic? Were they like this back in kindergarten? No they weren’t. Why did they become like this? Yes, because they got into problems. Either because of inexperience, or because of your stupidity and stupidity.
And this is called getting into trouble.

So, make sure you don’t get into trouble with this brilliant genius of yours. Don’t fall for this gold leaf that glitters. This is not your thing!
Do not take what is not yours. Even if it’s no one’s. Don’t be a magpie.
Remember Exepuri? We are responsible for those we have tamed!
I have an oriental cat. He is already more than ten years old. He ruined his digestion by begging for food from the table - fried food and so on. And a problem arose - the fact that he wants to eat makes him sick and vomits. And he doesn’t want to eat what he can eat.

On the advice of the doctor, they did not give food from the table in the hope that hunger would force it. So he didn’t eat anything for a week. Everyone was waiting for the fried chicken that made him sick.
As a result, the cat lost weight to the point of catahexicity. I had to be revived at the veterinarian with IV drips. But he still didn’t eat it himself. I had to force-feed him special food from a syringe. And this is how we have been feeding him for two or three years. Every four to five hours. There is a sign on the refrigerator where we write down what time we fed him. And that’s why he’s alive. Otherwise I would have died a long time ago. And the cat himself, too, after not eating anything for a week, became different. Something like an old grandfather. He sleeps a lot and hardly washes himself. He likes to sleep on his knees, which are warm.

God, he’s a big joker - once you’ve tamed a cat, now live with it.
And you too - don’t pull the guy on the cloud by the his gray beard with your unearthly and unrequited love for your object of adoration. Otherwise, this guy on the cloud will think and decide to quickly check whether your feelings are real. Have you probably seen these poor mothers with disabled children in strollers on the street?
Well, in general, I’ll repeat it again...
Based on my life experience, I would still knock all this nonsense out of my head in relation to your object of adoration.

[Polly]

why are you writing something here then

I think it’s necessary) And I have the right to do so) probably this is enough for the post to appear here. In fact, I found here those for whom the story resonated largely due to the similarity of the situations. We even became friends with someone. And that’s good too. Because when there is someone who understands, it is a huge support. I don’t need to assent) This post is my diary. When it boils over, you need to find an outlet for it. But I can’t do this openly. That’s why the forum. Everything in my life is more than good. And this situation does not affect the quality of my life at all. Besides, it doesn’t make me unhappy. Yes, there are difficulties and desires, and this sometimes makes me sad. But this does not mean that I am unhappy and everything is bad in life. It is nonsense. Life is not only black and white, where either everything is good or everything is bad.

no one is making fun of you

but it sounds like gross trolling) There is no need to solve my problem. No problem. There is a situation that is not entirely within my control. I think everyone’s life is full of similar situations. For some it is connected with work, for others with people, for others with housing or everyday life. Here I am with my feelings. But even just for the fact that this person is in my life, I am very grateful to him. And there were many moments when he made me even a little happier. And these moments are so expensive that even if I were now put at the beginning and asked to follow the path where I would not meet this person, I would NOT follow it.

they go somewhere far to the periphery

each has their own path and their own destiny. Anything can happen, but it will happen later. You shouldn’t wait your whole life for some difficulties that will become more important than what you have now. They may not come. I live for today. Today there is this. And it worries me. Tomorrow will be different and will worry about something else. But I’m not going to wait and bring this other thing closer. The day after tomorrow we may all be gone. You can fall down the stairs and break your neck while going out to buy bread. Or get hit by a car. Or you can die quietly at night from a broken blood clot. Let’s think only about this and give up everything that is in our lives now in order to fill our heads with non-existent (but theoretically possible) terrible events that may become more important.

Were they like that back in kindergarten?

some yes. And in kindergartens, unfortunately, there are enough of them. He is a man either from birth or never.

By the way, you often use the phrase “getting into trouble.” What exactly is the problem? In irresponsibility? And what do you think this is about getting into? Achieve your goal and... regret? What needs to happen to get into trouble?

[Hair shirt]

Everything in my life is more than good.

This became clear to me from the very beginning.
"Achieve your goal and..... regret?"
How accurately you expressed the general meaning of what I wanted to convey to you!
Well, now I’m calm for you. Or maybe for yourself. That I was able to convey to you what I wanted.

And I wanted to do this because, firstly, quite often in my life I have encountered the problem of remembering what happened ten years ago or more and thinking - Was I really that worried about this? Or - did I really need all this and was it bothering me?
And it especially hits the brain when you are leaving somewhere far away.

I don’t remember who said it, like Brodsky, or maybe not - "... and forget the tyrant’s middle name."
That is, you are immersed in another world, another culture, among other people, another climate and a different mentality, and after some short time, everything that worried you and what was important to you fades into the background. And you understand that what is important to you is what happens to you here and now. And you are far away from the problems that worried you. And right now you are worried about something completely different.

And you think how can this be? I loved this and this, and could not live without this and this. And I felt sad and lonely without these and these people. But time passed, you went somewhere and it all peeled off like old skin. And you yourself think - was all that past really so important to me? Or maybe I just came up with all this for myself? That I love someone, that I like something and that I can’t imagine my life without something.

An anecdote on the topic...
A man walks and sees another a man sells balloons. And there are two prices for them - some for 100 rubles, and others for 50. But they look the same. And he asks - what’s the catch? Why is the price different?
And the seller answers - and those over 50 are not happy.

It’s exactly the same here. As soon as I left somewhere for six months, what had been my whole life’s work simply stopped warming me up. It stopped making me happy like those balls.
And you can’t help yourself. You try to enter this river and it doesn’t work. That river no longer exists - it has flowed away.

[Polly]

But time passed, you went somewhere and all this peeled off like old skin.

This is normal. Life goes on, events change. I’ll say even more. This happened to me and this person. There was a period when we moved away somewhat and everything faded into the background, replaced by new things and events. For some time I fell out of the events of his life. Probably for a year. And then a difficult period in his life began. I won’t go into depth, but there was an indicative moment that made it clear that it might not have existed at all. A burning feeling. And quite a bit later he called me. For some nonsense. He was clarifying something. It was strange. But it’s so significant for me. I was brought back to him by the awareness of loss, he was brought back to me by something else, known only to him, which suddenly made him dial my number. And it happened almost at the same time. I got ready in 2 days and flew to the nearest concert. Very far. Typically, such events are planned much in advance and the locations are chosen close to each other. But it didn’t matter where. I haven’t seen him for 3 years. And I stood in tears the entire concert. Either from the joy of meeting, or from the awareness of loss that brought me back, or from the stupid spotlights burning out my eyes. But this concert was for me the best of the huge number of concerts that I attended years earlier. And then there were many more events\meetings\conversations\joint problems. He and I are much closer now than we were before. I don’t promise and I don’t plan anything globally. It is unknown what will happen tomorrow and where we will be tomorrow. But I know for sure that I am not going to give it up out of the blue of my own free will.

What am I talking about... Sometimes you still manage to enter that river again. I would even say that sometimes fate somehow throws you into it.

[Hair shirt]

What am I talking about... Sometimes you still manage to enter that river again. I would even say that sometimes fate somehow throws you into it.

If only youth knew! If only old age could!
If you take your time and can afford to think first of all not about funds and resources, but about your feelings, then this simply means that someone is paying for all this. Either your parents, or your husband, or someone else.

Or the second option - you borrow it all from yourself. In exchange for the time that is given to you now. The time when nothing hurts you, when you are relatively healthy, when you can sleep only an hour a day, take a shower and be fresh and clear-headed. The time that you are given to earn money that you may need if some kind of force majeure happens to you.

Or you just want to change the location. And as always, it all comes down to money. If you had, say, a million, you would have picked it up right now and left for a couple of years somewhere where you feel good. And money would allow you to solve all immigration issues. And you would feel comfortable in one country or another.
But you have no money and you don’t have the resources, not only to live somewhere, but even just for a tourist trip for two weeks.

So here’s the youth who didn’t know, she still doesn’t know that she (the youth) is wasting her time and is now doing some kind of crap that in the end will turn out to be of no use to anyone. And no one will appreciate it. Young people also don’t know that they shouldn’t do crap but think about how and where to earn as much money as possible. And also how to accumulate this money and how not to waste it and save it even if you manage to earn it in sufficient quantities. Also, youth does not yet know that friends are all bullshit on a stick. That they all need you while you can do something or while they can get something from you.

Also, youth still does not know that family is the very first enemy of your future, which you want to achieve through raising capital. Also, youth does not yet know that the family needs you only to support it. If you’re a man. And if you stop supporting her, then this family no longer needs you. And this family will go looking for someone else who will support her. And youth also does not know that in the family she will carry and carry money into the family and everything will not be enough.

And old age, unfortunately, cannot do everything that youth can. She (old age) cannot fall in love with someone because old age has a wrinkled ass. And everything else is also wrinkled. And in old age no one will call and breathe hotly into the phone. Old age cannot earn money because it gets tired quickly, and if it sleeps only an hour a day, then old age’s blood pressure will rise and it will take a week for it to come to its senses. What kind of work is there!!!

And in old age all that remains is to regret what a fool she was when she was young. And how stupidly she wasted her youth on some useless crap.

[Polly]

someone is paying for all this

my labor is paying for it. I work and receive a salary that is more than enough for all my desires. I can afford to break loose and go wherever I want at the moment. And I do it) Please don’t count my money. I myself know how to manage them. Where to invest and when to save. There is no need to project your life problems onto me. I was raised differently and had a different experience before my eyes. In my family, values ​​and feelings have always been higher than money. In the 90s, my father practically did not receive a salary, they were delayed or paid pennies. And they never pointed it at him. We all supported and survived these times together. It’s a pity that your family no longer needed you when you couldn’t provide for it. They chose a mercantile wife and thereby killed possible feelings. Sorry. It was different for us. And I repeat: you shouldn’t lump everyone together. Your sorrows and troubles do not mean that the same thing is happening to everyone around you. Everyone is unique. And everyone’s fate too.

Go in peace already. Regret your old age and wrinkled ass, the mercantile family that betrayed you, the slavery to which you gave your life. Don’t touch my life and my topic. She’s not for you. I won’t follow your path, don’t try. Teach your children. If possible. If they were raised to disrespect you for your inability to generate income, then they won’t listen to you either.

[Hair shirt]

Go in peace already. Regret your old age and wrinkled ass, the mercantile family that betrayed you, the slavery to which you gave your life. Don’t touch my life and my topic. She’s not for you. I won’t follow your path, don’t try. Teach your children. If possible. If they were raised not to respect you for your inability to bring in income, then they won’t listen to you either.

You are now no better than those who burned at the stake in the Middle Ages people just because they understand the Bible from a slightly different angle. That is, not for killing someone and then eating him. Not for having done something terrible, but simply for the fact that it is some kind of book that it is not clear who wrote it and why it is understood a little differently.
That’s why you never surprised me. And who would doubt that you did not come here to ask for advice, and then listen to this advice, but for some other reason. I can’t read minds, and I’m not the Lord God, and I won’t say exactly what you wanted from visitors to this forum when you wrote the first post in this topic. But I can definitely say that you definitely didn’t ask for advice.

Because I wrote quite good advice and what did I get in response!? And I got a saleswoman who had gotten away from the market.
And where did this thing of yours go as you write "Ephemeral love and fantasy..."
nWhat ephemerality and love there is here! It’s as if they didn’t beat you to death with everything they could get their hands on.
Well, in general, you didn’t succeed in presenting yourself as a Turgenev girl in this topic. As soon as you stepped on a foot, you immediately covered the person with dicks.

That’s why it’s hard to believe what you’re writing about yourself here, how airy and ephemeral you are and how you are in twelve chairs - calling for kisses.
So-so. An ordinary girl. Nothing special. There are a lot of complaints, but in fact it’s all down to the first problem. And when this happens, then everything will fall into place.

About "I work and receive a salary that is more than enough for all my desires..."
This is not the money. I was talking about other money. You are forced to work to pay for everything you need. If you stop working, you will have problems if you do not find a source of your financing. And this is either marriage, or finding a man who will support you. Or...
Go to work again.

That is, you are simply forced to either lie under someone, both literally and figuratively. Or go to work. There may be other options, but they are complex and confusing.
But you have to work at work. It’s early to arrive and late to leave. And your whole life passes at this work. You actually live at this job. And outside of work, you only have time to get home, go to the grocery store, have dinner and go to bed.
And tomorrow it’s work again!
Question - why do you go to this job?
The answer is to make money.
Question - for what?
Answer - ...

And this is where the whole difficulty lies in this answer.
If you are married, then it turns out that it is for the family, for children and all that.
And if you are not single or single? Then you go to work and earn money that you have nowhere to spend because you are at work all the time.
Well, yes, you have time in the evening after work. Well, what about that time when you have to get home from work for over an hour, and work ends at six. That is, you are home at eight o’clock. And if you go to the gym, and you have to go to the gym, then generally you’re home at nine.

And at nine in the morning you have to be at work. And if you go to the gym, then you need to get enough sleep, otherwise you will die or turn ugly if you are a girl.
And in order to be at work at nine, you need to leave the house somewhere at half past seven. And in order to leave the house at half past seven, you need to get out of bed at least half past six. Well, better at six. And in order to get up at six and get enough sleep you need to go to bed at ten in the evening. And you came home from the gym at nine.

That is, you have an hour to do everything - from nine in the evening to ten in the evening. And during this time you still need to cook dumplings for yourself, wash your socks, iron your trousers the next day (or a skirt and blouse).
And so you run in this squirrel wheel for a year, two, three, four...
And then you ask yourself - why all this and how long will all this last?

Now imagine how much time you have if you don’t go to work. Everything is the same, but you don’t have to go to work. You wake up at six in the same way, and go to the gym in the same way in the evening. But there is no need to work. Because who gives you as much money every month as you get at your job.
And you immediately have a bunch of hobbies, a bunch of interests. You can move around the world, lived here, lived there. Somewhere I liked it - I stayed for a year and learned the language. Let’s move on. Rescue dolphins or flip sea turtles. And all this time you have money every month as if you were working. Not big, but enough to move around the world from time to time and pay your expenses.

Now take and multiply your salary by twelve and get as much as you get for a year of your life.
Now multiply this amount by the number of years that you would like to live anywhere else without working in this life. But first subtract as many years as you need to earn this amount. Let’s say you need a million dollars in order to never work again in this life and live on this million. Now think about how many years you need to earn this million. And don’t forget to think about how to earn this million.

And it may turn out that you will need half of your remaining life in order to earn this conditional million. Don’t focus on this amount. I just gave a relative example. This is probably not a million, but some other amount.
That is, this conditional million can be earned in a year. Or maybe in five years. Or maybe for ten. And you may never make any money in your entire life.
And all this life, then leaving for work and then coming home from it.

Remember the movie "It Was in America" "? Remember when DeNiro, already an old man, returned to his city and came to his former friend, the owner of the bar? And he asked him - what have you been doing all this time? And DeNiro answered him - he went to bed on time.
So here you will go to bed on time all your life.

And in order to break this vicious circle you need to somehow strain and earn money this conditional million. So that one fine day I can tell myself that everything is enough!
I earned enough not to work anymore. And I can finally develop creatively, spiritually, take care of my health, travel, maybe even devote my life to some kind of hobby. But all this time, don’t be a natural homeless person.

And now think again about everything I wrote to you about in previous posts. You actually have very little time to earn this conditional million. Because you need to earn it in the shortest possible time. And for this you need to strain sooooo much. You won’t be able to make money at work. You are working right now. Well, how much did you earn? How much did you manage to save?
Yes, even if you save everything you earn, it’s still not the same. You will need to earn twenty years to then eat this money in the same twenty years. What then? Working again?

No, you need to earn a lot right away so that you never have to work again.
Of course you can earn it by being some kind of VIP on some very cool job. But then it was necessary to think about this even earlier. It was necessary to graduate from school with a gold medal. Learn languages ​​to perfection, enter by hook or by crook into some Yale University, or Cambridge, or Harvard. It’s actually not difficult to get there. Anyone who is able to pay for training is accepted. The difficulty of teaching in another language, and the difficulty of staying there so that you don’t get kicked out after six months for poor academic performance.

And you need to graduate from all these universities in order to get a normal job with the salary you get after ten fifteen years will allow it not to work at all. But you have to start thinking about this from school. Your parents must pay for your tuition and living on campus for five years or even more. And this is tangible money. Where can I get them?

And against all this background, it falls in love with someone and instead of thinking about earning a conditional million, so that later it will never work again in this life, it rushes around some stupid concerts. He’s pining for some strange guy.
Who doesn’t even seem to have divorced his wife yet. Which at the moment, of course, fucks someone there regularly and probably more than one or two. Well, he doesn’t jerk off after all.
He doesn’t have regular sex with you, but he should be with someone?
Again, someone irons his shirts. Who is interested?

And against this background you are building some kind of illusions. Well, if only you really would be so ephemeral and out of this world. But judging by your last post, I think you can adequately answer that woman from the meat department. Where and to which mother will she go now and in what place should she stick her tongue and all that.
So, girl, don’t make faces and pretend to be a mademoiselle, as they used to say from Bestuzhev’s courses.
Better do something more useful for your life.

And it’s better to leave this artist of yours alone. From him you will only have troubles in this life.
Artists are a complex people. Constant concerts, hassle, frequent travel and flights, feasts, obligations, you have to be on time everywhere, please everyone.
A lot of friends and acquaintances with a complex hierarchy of obligations. Some kind of female friends and, accordingly, friendly sex. Which is quite normal at his level.
With a man friend we went to the bathhouse, fishing, hunting.
With a woman friend we went to a restaurant, then to the opera or with bomod friends, then friendly sex. And that’s normal, it’s not even cheating for them. It’s like going fishing with a friend.
I’m a little on the topic of this whole community.

With this I bow to you...
I won’t write to you here again . I don’t see the need. It’s just a pity for the time. All these posts take up a lot of your time. And it would not be a pity for him if all this was for the benefit. But apparently you are going to shit yourself here for some reason proving the opposite. Although I think that if you really thought differently, you wouldn’t be so annoyed by my posts.
And it turns out that I’m just writing to you about your concerns, about the fact that you yourself are very worries. And it turns out you wrote here to confirm that you are right.
And here I am out of place...
Well, oh well...

[Arseniy 2]

Hair shirt, well, she wrote, she doesn’t need advice.
As she gets older and approaches forty years old, she will greatly regret it. No family, no children... There are such acquaintances, I feel sorry for them.
Polly, or How do you really like it! Forget about the "extraterrestrial" feeling. If the average guy cares, respects, trusts you, get married! According to statistics, the most successful marriages are not based on love, but based on a stereotype. Choose a husband based on yourself.

[Hair shirt]

The hair shirt, well, she wrote it, she doesn’t need advice.
As her age approaches forty years, she will greatly regret it. No family, no children... There are such acquaintances, I feel sorry for them .
Polly, or whatever you really like! Forget about the "extraterrestrial" feeling. If the average guy cares, respects, trusts you, get married! According to statistics, the most successful marriages are not based on love, but based on a stereotype. Choose a husband based on yourself.

No. It’s not all that scary. It would be healthy. You need a man if you want a freebie and if you’re either lazy or don’t have the ability to manage your life somehow.
Well, in general, I don’t necessarily think a woman needs both a man and a family. It is quite possible without this. And it will make you even healthier. Family, children, unsuccessful husband - all this never adds to your health.

It’s just that this world is a man’s world, no matter what they say. And when there are big stakes and too much is at stake, then everything is tailored to the men. And it’s true that sometimes it’s difficult for a woman both physically and psychologically to cope with all this. And sometimes you look at some cool lady boss. Well, yes, she is in the right place, yes, she is a tough leader, but she can do it. But at some point you already understand that now this is not a woman in front of you. This is a man, and what a man! And there was nothing feminine left in her except her genitals. And sometimes you think who’s fucking her!?
Who is this kamikaze? Who is this unknown hero?

[M410]

What is the topic all about? How, in what words, can you hint to an elderly musician that a young woman wants to fuck with him!? Or does he himself seem to not notice her aspirations? Tell him in plain text! He will be pleased to hear this and there is a chance that you are interested in him in terms of fucking.
My guess is that this is Galanin or Skachkov.

[Polly]

You are now no better than those who in the Middle Ages burned people at the stake just because they understood the Bible from a slightly different angle

exactly the same thing can be applied and to you. Or you don’t notice how you humiliate the interests and hobbies of another person, applying the practice “there is only my opinion and it’s wrong” to everything. We have different views on this and will disagree.

[M410]

Polly, you are stupid, although touching. Today write to your friend that you want to come! Let him book a room in the best hotel in the city. Be brave!
Then you will remember me and thank me. Good luck to you.

[Hair shirt]

exactly the same thing can be applied to you. Or you don’t notice how you humiliate the interests and hobbies of another person, applying the practice “there is only my opinion and it’s wrong” to everything. We have different views on this and will disagree.

This would be the case if I wrote all this on your LiveJournal, or on VKontakte, or on Facebook. But here is a forum, a public place. And here you are not the hostess, but a visitor like everyone else. And no one here should look into your mouth and write only what you like and what suits you.

Again, you are not behaving quite correctly and not quite correctly in relation to other visitors . Why did you come here and write something?
I just re-read this first post of yours again.
Well, you’ve spoken and what next?
I should have then taken and erased everything I just wrote. And that would be correct and it would be logical. But for some reason you left everything you wrote and presented it to the public. Well, this court began to make its decisions. Why does the court have to be on your side? This is not a trial then.

Start your own blog, buy a certain number of supposed visitors and they will write to you in this blog of yours how awesome you are and all so airy and inviting for kisses. And also hire another person who will ban the so-called haters and erase their abusive posts. And you will have peace and quiet on your blog. Like in a cemetery. Do you need this, do you want this?

Did you want to know what others think about your oddities? Read here and draw your own conclusions. But there is no need to bully these people. They tried to write something to you here. And they did this not out of a desire to give a shit about your soul, but simply to convey their point of view on this whole situation of yours that you found yourself in.

I already wrote to you above that when you wash your dirty laundry in public or If you make some of your personal affairs public, you must be prepared for publicity. That you need to be tolerant of other people. And it’s one thing when tolerance is simply one of the components of public hypocrisy. But it’s another thing when all this directly concerns you personally.

There is also another concept - dissent. And this applies not only to politics, literature, and journalism. Dissent is simply when someone thinks about something differently than you. You are also a dissenter in relation to something. For example, polygamy. And the one who treats this normally can also throw mud at you and say nasty things to you out of nowhere.

Therefore, be more tolerant of dissent, no one is obliged to look in your mouth. And if you still don’t like it when someone thinks differently, then don’t create situations where someone starts advising you something. Simply put, don’t ask anyone for any advice, especially in public. Boil everything inside yourself, or, as a last resort, talk it out to some friend or friend. Which, by the way, cannot be accused of bias and who will not understand if you suddenly start scolding him for the fact that he thinks differently than you.
And then you will really think - maybe he’s really right and that I’m doing something here did you make it up in your head?

But when someone unfamiliar like me says this, there is always a temptation to tell me to fuck you (pardon my French).

[Hair shirt]

that it is Galanin or Skachkov

No. She wrote that he certainly went down in history and that everyone knows him. But for example, I don’t know who Skachkov is. And I’ve heard almost nothing about Galanin either. I don’t even know the face. I can only say that this is not a boxer or a governor, but like some kind of artist.
I think this is someone like Malezhik, Gradsky, Sukachev, Grebenshchikov, Shevchuk, Butusov, Gazmanov, Makarevich and others like them. But Gradsky died, then we isolate from the list those who are not musicians but simply vocalists. And we get two or three surnames.

[M410]

Galanin from the group "Serga" listen to their songs.

[Polly]

I don’t know who Skachkov is) But Galanin is cool)