BDSM with ancient roots. My history...

[Lex53]

Hi all. I read on this forum the revelations of a girl that she dreams of submitting publicly and everything like that.
I want to share my memories and fantasies..
I was born and raised in the USSR. At that time there was no talk about sex, but we knew a lot...
I noticed back in elementary school, maybe in the 5th grade, that something strange happened to me in the lower abdomen when certain things happened. For some reason I liked to obey the girl and when the girl forces me and forces me. In war games, I always tried to get captured by the girls. I liked it when they humiliated me, tied me up and asked me for something. I specifically tried to scream so that they would put a gag in my mouth.
I noticed that this turned me on, excited me and my penis tensed. I want this.
I saw that one girl noticed that I liked it. And she seemed to enjoy it too. Because she worked harder than others. She tied her hands only behind her back and tightly. She covered her mouth so that she could not spit out the gag. She tried to touch my tense penis. Slap me in the face, slap me on the backside, and so on...
Even once she deliberately stayed alone to guard me as a prisoner, in order to mock me harder. And I was happy.
She tied me up tightly, slapped me and spat in my face. She forced him to open his mouth and spat into him, forcing him to swallow. I threatened to tell and show everyone if I refused. And I didn’t even think about refusing, of course. Then she took off her socks and put them in my mouth. And I dreamed that these would be her panties, but unfortunately she didn’t do it.
Then others came and she softened.
I, of course, gave away all the secrets.))
You You won’t believe it, but I moved to another region (the forest was cut down, the forestry enterprise was almost closed....). My father was offered a job and we moved.
I really regretted it. I was trying to find something like this. But I was embarrassed to admit it openly to someone. Then, as a student, I tried something... But many girls were not at all ready for this (he’s a pervert)). Then some outlet appeared in the form of magazines like "Mr. X", "Miss X", "X Press"... With stories and stories about S&M, BDSM and so on. I began to understand a lot.
But I will never forget that girl.
My wife, of course, is trying to help as best she can. But she doesn’t really like it.
But I want to find someone who likes it all herself...
Here’s the story. Believe it or not...