Many of us have experienced betrayal, tell me, if you have outwardly forgiven a person, does that person still have a feeling of jealousy in their soul? For example, after a divorce, I didn’t communicate with my wife for 4 years, although I lived in the next house...
Many of us have experienced betrayal, tell me, if you have outwardly forgiven a person, does that person still have a feeling of jealousy in their soul? For example, after a divorce, I didn’t communicate with my wife for 4 years, although I lived in the next house...
Ted_2023: ↑18 Mar 2023, 04:40
Many of us have experienced betrayal, tell me, if you have outwardly forgiven a person, does that person still have a feeling of jealousy in their soul? For example, after a divorce, I didn’t communicate with my wife for 4 years, although I lived in a neighboring house...
Why communicate after a divorce?
These users thanked the author The passage for the post (total 3):
[quote=Ted_2023 post_id=180327 time=1679139615 user_id=15584] Many of us have experienced betrayal, tell me, if you have outwardly forgiven a person, does that person still have a feeling of jealousy in their soul? For example, after a divorce, I didn’t communicate with my wife for 4 years, although I lived in a neighboring house... [/quote]
I didn’t really understand the essence of the question) I’ll tell you a story. We lived with the girl for more than five years. He loved her madly. But since this was the first relationship, there were many mistakes, both on my part and on her part. More from mine. There were quarrels, intemperance, resentment. At the same time, it was not possible to really talk afterwards; it was customary to simply forget and move on with life. As a result, they moved away from each other and only sex remained. Good, nothing to complain about. But other than sex, sometimes there wasn’t even anything to talk about. As a result, she made a friend who became a pillow into which she cried. This caused jealousy on my part and in the end she slept with him, but she decided to leave only after two weeks, apparently side B was not ready to immediately take the ball to their side)
In short, the offense was terrible, I never thought I’ll forgive you. Actually, he didn’t forgive me, but that didn’t stop us from having sex a couple of times after 5 years the wounds heal and you just don’t get offended anymore, but forgive and live together again - never)
These users thanked the author Mr.hamsterrr for the post (total 2):
I didn’t really understand the essence of the question) I’ll tell you a story. We lived with the girl for more than five years. He loved her madly. But since this was the first relationship, there were many mistakes, both on my part and on her part. More from mine. There were quarrels, intemperance, resentment. At the same time, it was not possible to really talk afterwards; it was customary to simply forget and move on with life. As a result, they moved away from each other and only sex remained. Good, nothing to complain about. But other than sex, sometimes there wasn’t even anything to talk about. As a result, she made a friend who became a pillow into which she cried. This caused jealousy on my part and in the end she slept with him, but she decided to leave only after two weeks, apparently side B was not ready to immediately take the ball to their side) In short, the offense was terrible, I never thought I’ll forgive you. Actually, he didn’t forgive me, but that didn’t stop us from having sex a couple of times after 5 years 😁 the wounds heal and you just don’t get offended anymore, but forgive and live together again - never)
I will answer for myself, I didn’t have any cheating, but I divorced my ex-wife calmly after the divorce and never communicated again, although we encountered them many times
I will answer for myself, I didn’t have any cheating, but I divorced my ex-wife calmly after the divorce and never communicated again, although we encountered them many times
Mr.hamsterrr: ↑18 Mar 2023, 04:56
it didn’t stop us from having sex a couple of times after 5 years the wounds heal and you just don’t get offended anymore
Sex with an ex promotes scarring, especially if she is in a relationship. It seems like a feeling of revenge - they say, she crawled anyway)) True, they showed up more often when they parted with the next guy, but that’s also nothing like therapy. For both.
[quote=Mr.hamsterrr post_id=180341 time=1679140567 user_id= 15742] it didn’t stop us from having sex a couple of times after 5 years 😁 the wounds heal and you just don’t get offended anymore[/quote]
Sex with an ex promotes scarring, especially if she is in a relationship. It seems like a feeling of revenge - they say, she crawled anyway)) True, they showed up more often when they parted with the next guy, but that’s also nothing like therapy. For both.
FUCKYAMATERITY: ↑22 Mar 2023, 08:29
Sex with an ex promotes scarring
That’s exactly what happened. Until we talked, I no, no, and I remembered her, regretted that we broke up and all that. And as soon as we got together for a short time, even if only for sex, and then separated again, now I don’t remember at all, I felt completely relieved.
[quote=FUCKYAMATERITY post_id=181921 time=1679498993 user_id=9290] Sex with an ex promotes scarring [/quote] That’s exactly what happened. Until we talked, I no, no, and I remembered her, regretted that we broke up and all that. And as soon as we got together for a short time, even if only for sex, and then separated again, now I don’t remember at all, I felt completely relieved.
I have an acquaintance who is constantly interested in the lives of his exes (there are a couple of girls there), is jealous of them, makes advances at them at parties together... I don’t know why this is necessary. It’s good that it doesn’t go any further
I have an acquaintance who is constantly interested in the lives of his exes (there are a couple of girls there), is jealous of them, makes advances at them at parties together... I don’t know why this is necessary. It’s good that it doesn’t go any further
Men are characterized by jealousy, but only until new love appears. Therefore, after a breakup, many are jealous of their exes until they meet new love. Then it becomes indifferent.
Men are characterized by jealousy, but only until new love appears. Therefore, after a breakup, many are jealous of their exes until they meet new love. Then it becomes indifferent.
Slavaregy: ↑22 Mar 2023, 13:39
Men are characterized by jealousy, but only until new love appears. Therefore, after a breakup, many are jealous of their exes until they meet new love. Then it becomes indifferent.
[quote=Slavaregy post_id=182023 time=1679517546 user_id=15685] Men are characterized by jealousy, but only until new love appears. Therefore, after a breakup, many are jealous of their exes until they meet new love. Then it becomes indifferent. [/quote] Everything is spot on ☝
Slavaregy: ↑22 Mar 2023, 13:39
Men are naturally jealous
not all. I already wrote in another topic that jealousy is a manifestation of an inferiority complex.
In the context of the topic, the past should be in the past. All that remains from a relationship are memories and experiences.
[quote=Slavaregy post_id=182023 time=1679517546 user_id=15685] Men are naturally jealous [/quote] not all. I already wrote in another topic that jealousy is a manifestation of an inferiority complex. In the context of the topic, the past should be in the past. All that remains from a relationship are memories and experiences.
[quote=Ulof post_id=182067 time=1679551122 user_id=8099] jealousy is a manifestation of an inferiority complex. [/quote] It turns out that I have practically no complexes :-D, although I always thought that I was the opposite shy.
[quote=Markul post_id=182073 time=1679551776 user_id=17435] It turns out I have practically no complexes [/quote] Everyone has complexes :) Superficial shyness can get along with internal self-esteem and self-confidence
I divorced my first wife 17 years ago. She got married almost immediately after the divorce and now lives in another country, but we communicate with her often. About once a year he comes to his parents and never forgets about me. She already gave birth to a child there and with her new husband, but most likely this was my work, since nine months before the birth of her daughter, she came to her parents, we met and even spent the night together in a hotel. Now, too, when he comes, we never go without good sex. Usually at her parents’ dacha. Her father and mother know everything.
I divorced my first wife 17 years ago. She got married almost immediately after the divorce and now lives in another country, but we communicate with her often. About once a year he comes to his parents and never forgets about me. She already gave birth to a child there and with her new husband, but most likely this was my work, since nine months before the birth of her daughter, she came to her parents, we met and even spent the night together in a hotel. Now, too, when he comes, we never go without good sex. Usually at her parents’ dacha. Her father and mother know everything.
Marinka: ↑23 Mar 2023, 02:29
It’s not normal to be jealous after a divorce.
I absolutely agree. No one forces you to remain close people, just as in general, no one demands you break off relationships for the rest of your life. Jealousy is generally inappropriate here, if only because after a divorce, former spouses gain independence and freedom.
These users thanked the author Andrey Lukashov for the post:
[quote=Marinka post_id=182106 time=1679563755 user_id=12161] It’s not normal to be jealous after a divorce. [/quote] I absolutely agree. No one forces you to remain close people, just as in general, no one demands you break off relationships for the rest of your life. Jealousy is generally inappropriate here, if only because after a divorce, former spouses gain independence and freedom.
[quote=Marinka post_id=182106 time=1679563755 user_id=12161] It’s not normal to be jealous after a divorce.[/quote] Of course it’s not normal. Only there are all sorts of circumstances of separation.
Ted_2023: ↑18 Mar 2023, 04:40
Many of us have experienced betrayal, tell me, if you have outwardly forgiven a person, does that feeling of jealousy still remain in your soul? For example, after a divorce, I didn’t communicate with my wife for 4 years, although I lived in a neighboring house...
[quote=Marinka post_id=180332 time=1679139754 user_id=12161] [quote=Ted_2023 post_id=180327 time=1679139615 user_id= 15584] Many of us have experienced betrayal, tell me, if you have outwardly forgiven a person, does that feeling of jealousy still remain in your soul? For example, after a divorce, I didn’t communicate with my wife for 4 years, although I lived in a neighboring house... [/quote]
Why communicate after a divorce? [/quote]Feelings! Do you know there is such a thing?! :muza:
Ted_2023: ↑18 Mar 2023, 04:40
Many of us have experienced betrayal, tell me if you have outwardly forgiven person, then that feeling of jealousy still remains in his soul? For example, after a divorce, I didn’t communicate with my wife for 4 years, although I lived in a neighboring house...
[quote=FUCKYAMATERITY post_id=182205 time=1679574963 user_id=9290] [quote=Marinka post_id=182106 time=1679563755 user_id= 12161] It’s not normal to be jealous after a divorce.[/quote] Of course it’s not normal. But there are all sorts of circumstances of separation. [/quote]
And how are the circumstances of separation and jealousy related?
[size=85][color=green]Sent after 44 seconds:[ /color][/size] [quote=DON post_id=182206 time=1679575044 user_id=4658] [quote=Marinka post_id=180332 time=1679139754 user_id=12161] [quote=Ted_2023 post_id=180327 time=1679139615 user_id=15584] Many of us have experienced betrayal, tell me if you have outwardly forgiven person, then that feeling of jealousy still remains in his soul? For example, after a divorce, I didn’t communicate with my wife for 4 years, although I lived in a neighboring house... [/quote]
Why communicate after a divorce? [/quote]Feelings! Do you know there is such a thing?! :muza: [/quote]
[quote=Marinka post_id=182207 time=1679575123 user_id=12161] [quote=FUCKYAMATERITY post_id=182205 time=1679574963 user_id= 9290] [quote=Marinka post_id=182106 time =1679563755 user_id=12161] It’s not normal to be jealous after a divorce.[/quote] Of course it’s not normal. But there are all sorts of circumstances of separation. [/quote]
And how are the circumstances of separation and jealousy related?
Why communicate after a divorce? [/quote]Feelings! Do you know there is such a thing?! :muza: [/quote]Often feelings do not interfere with divorce! The reasons for divorce are different.
If you have feelings, then why did you break up? [/quote]
Of course it’s not normal. But there are all sorts of circumstances of separation. [/quote]
And how are the circumstances of separation and jealousy related?
[size=85][color=green]Sent after 44 seconds:[ /color][/size] [quote=DON post_id=182206 time=1679575044 user_id=4658] Feelings! Do you know there is such a thing?! :muza: [/quote]Often feelings do not interfere with divorce! The reasons for divorce are different.
If you have feelings, then why did you break up? [/quote] [/quote]
It’s stupid to break up and then continue to communicate. Then it’s better not to break up at all. Especially if you have feelings.
And how are the circumstances of separation and jealousy related?
[ size=85][color=green]Sent after 44 seconds:[/color] [/size] Often feelings do not interfere with divorce! The reasons for divorce are different.
If you have feelings, then why did you break up? [/quote] [/quote]
It’s stupid to break up and then continue to communicate. Then it’s better not to break up at all. Especially if you have feelings. [/quote]You know that there are also children! When a man and a woman were married.
It’s stupid to break up and then continue to communicate. Then it’s better not to break up at all. Especially if you have feelings. [/quote]You know that there are also children! When a man and a woman have been married. [/quote]
Of course, you shouldn’t get a divorce for the sake of the children? Yes?
Marinka: ↑23 Mar 2023, 05:44
It’s stupid to break up and then continue to communicate. Then it’s better not to break up at all. Especially if you have feelings.
You know that there are also children! When a man and a woman have been married.
Of course, you shouldn’t get a divorce for the sake of the children? Yes?
What does this have to do with it? This is decided by the spouses. Their right to choose.
It’s stupid to break up and then continue to communicate. Then it’s better not to break up at all. Especially if you have feelings. [/quote]You know that there are also children! When a man and a woman have been married. [/quote]
Of course, you shouldn’t get a divorce for the sake of the children? Yes? [/quote]What does this have to do with it? This is decided by the spouses. Their right to choose.
[quote=DON post_id=182222 time=1679576109 user_id=4658] [quote=Marinka post_id=182218 time=1679575824 user_id= 12161] [quote=DON post_id=182217 time =1679575721 user_id=4658] You know that there are also children! When a man and a woman have been married. [/quote]
Of course, you shouldn’t get a divorce for the sake of the children? Yes? [/quote]What does this have to do with it? This is decided by the spouses. Their right to choose. [/quote]
[quote=Marinka post_id=182212 time=1679575453 user_id=12161] how are the circumstances of separation and jealousy related?[/quote] They can be directly connected if the initiative was not mutual.
[quote=FUCKYAMATERITY post_id=182226 time=1679576335 user_id=9290] [quote=Marinka post_id=182212 time=1679575453 user_id= 12161] how are the circumstances of separation and jealousy related?[/quote] They can be directly connected if the initiative was not mutual. [/quote]
[quote=FUCKYAMATERITY post_id=182226 time=1679576335 user_id=9290] [quote=Marinka post_id=182212 time=1679575453 user_id= 12161] how are the circumstances of separation and jealousy related?[/quote] They can be directly connected if the initiative was not mutual. [/quote] Vital. This happens often!
[size=85] [color=green]Sent after 1 minute 26 seconds:[/color][/size] [quote=Marinka post_id=182227 time=1679576427 user_id=12161] [quote=FUCKYAMATERITY post_id=182226 time=1679576335 user_id=9290] [quote=Marinka post_id=182212 time=1679575453 user_id=12161] how are the circumstances of separation and jealousy related?[/quote] They can be directly connected if the initiative was not mutual. [/ quote]
I should have turned to a family psychologist [/quote]We have psychologists, like medicine at the level of the African tribe!
[quote=DON post_id=182229 time=1679576616 user_id=4658] [quote=FUCKYAMATERITY post_id=182226 time=1679576335 user_id= 9290] [quote=Marinka post_id=182212 time =1679575453 user_id=12161] How are the circumstances of separation and jealousy related?[/quote] Can be directly related if the initiative was not mutual. [/quote]Vital. This happens often!
[quote=Marinka post_id=182227 time=1679576427 user_id=12161] It was necessary to contact a family psychologist[/quote] This is not a guarantee, and with a firm decision it is simply useless.
[quote=DON post_id=182234 time=1679576909 user_id=4658] [quote=Marinka post_id=182231 time=1679576754 user_id= 12161] [quote=DON post_id=182229 time =1679576616 user_id=4658] Vital. This happens often!
[size=85] [color=green]Sent after 1 minute 26 seconds:[/color][/size] We have psychologists, like medicine, at the level of the African tribe! [/quote]
How did you determine this level? Were you treated in Africa, and then here? [/quote]I worked there! I read a lot. [/quote]
Who did they work there? Psychologist? And then we came back and from here the conclusion is that our level and their level are the same))))
[size=85][color=green]Sent after 29 seconds:[/color][/size ] [quote=FUCKYAMATERITY post_id =182240 time=1679577101 user_id=9290] [ quote=Marinka post_id=182227 time=1679576427 user_id=12161] I should have contacted a family psychologist[/quote] This is not a guarantee, and with a firm decision it is simply useless business. [/quote]
How did you determine this level? Were you treated in Africa, and then here? [/quote]I worked there! I read a lot. [/quote]
Who did they work there? Psychologist? And then they came back and hence the conclusion that our level and their level are the same)))) [/quote]Certainly not a psychologist! There is absolutely no need for such a profession. :roll: Just compared. The difference is not great.
How did you determine this level? Were you treated in Africa, and then here? [/quote]I worked there! I read a lot. [/quote]
Who did they work there? Psychologist? And then we came back and from here the conclusion is that our level and their level are the same))))
[size=85][color=green]Sent after 29 seconds:[/color][/size ] [quote=FUCKYAMATERITY post_id =182240 time=1679577101 user_id=9290] [ quote=Marinka post_id=182227 time=1679576427 user_id=12161] I should have contacted a family psychologist[/quote] This is not a guarantee, and with a firm decision it is simply useless business. [/quote]
But it was worth a try [/quote]You probably tried!
[quote=Marinka post_id=182241 time=1679577201 user_id=12161] But it was worth a try[/quote] How? Forcibly drag your spouse to a psychologist? It’s too late, this can only have an effect if problems arise. And a joint desire to solve them.
DON: ↑23 Mar 2023, 06:08
I worked there! I read a lot.
Who did they work there? Psychologist? And then we came back and from here the conclusion is that our level and their level are the same))))
Sent after 29 seconds:
FUCKYAMATERITY: ↑23 Mar 2023, 06:11
This is not a guarantee, and with a firm decision it is simply useless.
n
But it was worth a try
You probably tried!
In my case it is necessary I had to work not with a psychologist, but with a narcologist, and before filing for divorce, I tried everything. But my husband was not jealous of me even during marriage. The bottle replaced everything in the world for him.
[quote=DON post_id=182245 time=1679577413 user_id=4658] [quote=Marinka post_id=182241 time=1679577172 user_id= 12161] [quote=DON post_id=182234 time =1679576909 user_id=4658] I worked there! I read a lot. [/quote]
Who did they work there? Psychologist? And then they came back and hence the conclusion that our level and their level are the same)))) [/quote]Certainly not a psychologist! There is absolutely no need for such a profession. :roll: Just compared. The difference is not great.
[size=85][color=green]Sent after 1 minute 14 seconds:[/color][/size] [quote=Marinka post_id=182241 time=1679577201 user_id=12161] [quote=DON post_id=182234 time=1679576909 user_id=4658 ] I worked there! I read a lot. [/quote]
Who did they work there? Psychologist? And then we came back and from here the conclusion is that our level and their level are the same))))
[size=85][color=green]Sent after 29 seconds:[/color][/size ] [quote=FUCKYAMATERITY post_id =182240 time=1679577101 user_id=9290]
This is not a guarantee, and with a firm decision it is simply useless. [/quote] n But it was worth a try [/quote]You probably tried! [/quote]
In my case it is necessary I had to work not with a psychologist, but with a narcologist, and before filing for divorce, I tried everything. But my husband was not jealous of me even during marriage. The bottle replaced everything in the world for him.
Marinka: ↑23 Mar 2023, 06:12
Who did they work there? Psychologist? And then they came back and hence the conclusion that our level and their level are the same))))
Certainly not a psychologist! There is absolutely no need for such a profession. Just compared. The difference is not great.
Sent after 1 minute 14 seconds:
Marinka: ↑23 Mar 2023, 06:13
Who did they work there? Psychologist? And then we came back and from here the conclusion is that our level and their level are the same))))
Sent after 29 seconds:
But it was worth a try
You probably tried!
In my case, it was necessary to work not with a psychologist, but with a narcologist, and before filing for divorce, I tried everything. But my husband was not jealous of me even during marriage. The bottle replaced everything in the world for him.
Who did they work there? Psychologist? And then they came back and hence the conclusion that our level and their level are the same)))) [/quote]Certainly not a psychologist! There is absolutely no need for such a profession. :roll: Just compared. The difference is not great.
[size=85][color=green]Sent after 1 minute 14 seconds:[/color][/size] [quote=Marinka post_id=182241 time=1679577201 user_id=12161]
Who did they work there? Psychologist? And then we came back and from here the conclusion is that our level and their level are the same))))
[size=85][color=green]Sent after 29 seconds:[/color][/size ]
But it was worth a try [/quote]You probably tried! [/quote]
In my case, it was necessary to work not with a psychologist, but with a narcologist, and before filing for divorce, I tried everything. But my husband was not jealous of me even during marriage. The bottle replaced everything in the world for him. [/quote]Why did he exchange the bottle for you? :roll:
DON: ↑23 Mar 2023, 06:16
Certainly not a psychologist! There is absolutely no need for such a profession. Just compared. The difference is not great.
Sent after 1 minute 14 seconds:
You probably we tried!
In my case, it was necessary to work not with a psychologist, but with a narcologist, and before filing for divorce, I tried everything. But my husband was not jealous of me even during marriage. The bottle replaced everything in the world for him.
Why did he exchange the bottle for you?
Alcoholism, disease. But you can’t cure a person if he doesn’t want it himself.
[quote=DON post_id=182258 time=1679577879 user_id=4658] [quote=Marinka post_id=182253 time=1679577698 user_id= 12161] [quote=DON post_id=182245 time =1679577413 user_id=4658] Certainly not a psychologist! There is absolutely no need for such a profession. :roll: Just compared. The difference is not great.
[size=85][color=green]Sent after 1 minute 14 seconds:[/color][/size] You probably we tried! [/quote]
In my case, it was necessary to work not with a psychologist, but with a narcologist, and before filing for divorce, I tried everything. But my husband was not jealous of me even during marriage. The bottle replaced everything in the world for him. [/quote]Why did he exchange the bottle for you? :roll: [/quote]
Alcoholism, disease. But you can’t cure a person if he doesn’t want it himself.
Marinka: ↑23 Mar 2023, 06:21
In my case, it was necessary to work not with a psychologist, but with a narcologist, and before filing for divorce, I tried everything. But my husband was not jealous of me even during marriage. The bottle replaced everything in the world for him.
Why did he exchange the bottle for you?
Alcoholism, disease. But you can’t cure a person if he doesn’t want it himself
Alcoholics are not born! They become them. Or did you marry an alcoholic?
In my case, it was necessary to work not with a psychologist, but with a narcologist, and before filing for divorce, I tried everything. But my husband was not jealous of me even during marriage. The bottle replaced everything in the world for him. [/quote]Why did he exchange the bottle for you? :roll: [/quote]
Alcoholism, disease. But you can’t cure a person if he doesn’t want it himself [/quote]Alcoholics are not born! They become them. Or did you marry an alcoholic?
[quote=Marinka post_id=182261 time=1679578005 user_id=12161] if he doesn’t want it himself[/quote] That’s for sure. In general, you cannot help anyone or anything without the desire of the person himself.
[quote=FUCKYAMATERITY post_id=182266 time=1679578351 user_id=9290] [quote=Marinka post_id=182261 time=1679578005 user_id= 12161] if he doesn’t want it himself[/quote] That’s for sure. In general, you cannot help anyone or anything without the desire of the person himself. [/quote]I disagree! The spouse is not unimportant in the fact that a person becomes an alcoholic! Experiences of familiar married couples!
I think it’s a matter of resentment towards the person. Understand yourself, find the reason, analyze, break it down into components and understand what bothers you so much.
[quote=Ted_2023 post_id=180327 time=1679139615 user_id=15584][/quote]I think it’s a matter of resentment towards the person. Understand yourself, find the reason, analyze, break it down into components and understand what bothers you so much.
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Such a good wish) you won’t fucking die
And judging by the message from 2019, it didn’t go any further.
And the author needs to see a sexologist) the problems can be solved
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the wounds heal and you just don’t get offended anymore, but forgive and live together again - never) 
the wounds heal and you just don’t get offended anymore, but forgive and live together again - never) 
, although I always thought that I was the opposite shy.
Just compared. The difference is not great.