My husband's erection is subsiding, I need advice

[Sunsh1ne]

Hello.
During sex with my husband, his erection declines (the penis becomes a little soft) and this can happen several times during sex. This causes me anxiety, when I ask, he answers in different ways, sometimes he’s tired, sometimes I don’t know, sometimes he was afraid to make noise, sometimes one testicle hurts...
We have been married for 15 years, we married for love and there is always sex and it has always been of high quality and often. With the exception of two pregnancies, those who have children will understand.
But about a year ago this problem appeared and I cannot understand what is happening. I start to imagine that my husband has stopped loving me, that he doesn’t want me anymore, or that he loves me but doesn’t want sex with me, or that he has problems with potency, but he won’t admit it (he doesn’t want to go to the doctor). As far as I know, there is no mistress. We have sex regularly 1-2 times a week. He is 42, I am 36. Tell me, what could it be? Why does this happen to a man?

[etc]

Hello.
During sex with my husband, his erection declines (the penis becomes a little soft) and this can happen several times during sex. This causes me anxiety, when I ask, he answers in different ways, sometimes he’s tired, sometimes I don’t know, sometimes he was afraid to make noise, sometimes one testicle hurts...
We have been married for 15 years, we married for love and there is always sex and it has always been of high quality and often. With the exception of two pregnancies, those who have children will understand.
But about a year ago this problem appeared and I cannot understand what is happening. I start to imagine that my husband has stopped loving me, that he doesn’t want me anymore, or that he loves me but doesn’t want sex with me, or that he has problems with potency, but he won’t admit it (he doesn’t want to go to the doctor). As far as I know, there is no mistress. We have sex regularly 1-2 times a week. He is 42, I am 36. Tell me, what could it be? Why does this happen to a man?

My good health is going away...
Does your husband have blood pressure? Overweight? Lifestyle? Does he smoke or drink?

[XiaH]

There can be a lot of reasons, ranging from condoms, porn abuse, stress, decreased libido, loss of interest after many years of living together, and so on and so forth. So you can’t say right away

[Sunsh1ne]

Blood pressure is rare, maybe once every month or two, he is not overweight, he has been involved in sports all his life (he likes to play football), does not smoke, drinks only beer (we do not like strong drinks).
We never use condoms, stress happens often, at work, but now he’s on vacation and the same thing happened today.
I don’t seem to watch porn, sometimes friends send videos of girls naked/with tits, I haven’t seen anything else (only if it’s secret).
As for the loss of interest, this is of course very sad to realize.

Men, do you really need new women all the time? Are you really that addicted to it? Or is it different for everyone...

Sent after 10 minutes 38 seconds:
I don’t even want to ask him, I’m afraid that he will lie to me. He won’t tell me the truth that he’s fallen out of love, that sex with me is boring...
Although his actions prove his love and loves our children and gives flowers/gifts. He treats me well.

How can I talk to him about this? I don’t want to hurt his feelings and these thoughts torment me. For me, and I think for all girls, it is very important to feel loved and DESIRED. I don’t feel desirable right now...

[Alexssss]

Try variety, bring toys

[Sunsh1ne]

Over the past 15 years we have tried a lot of things. Except for anal sex, I admit. Well, this doesn’t excite me at all and I’m afraid of the consequences (cracks, etc.).

But he doesn’t like toys

Can you tell me what toys men like?

I don’t have much experience, because my husband is my first man and I didn’t have anyone else. I offered him a threesome so that there would be another man. I also touched it

Sent after 11 minutes 40 seconds:
I bought a vibrator myself, but he didn’t appreciate it. I understood, why else have a penis if I have his dick... but he didn’t say it directly
I bought it because I can’t cum with my husband, we just can’t. They did. But apparently this is my physiology. I love sex and really like it, but I don’t reach the peak easily with a vibrator and even with my hand when I’m very excited. another man, but I don’t want to cheat...

[etc]

Sunsh1ne, if you associate weakening potency with loss of interest in you , then the number of sexual acts between you should decrease.
How often do you have sex?
From my past experience I will say that loss of interest in a girl/woman did not affect potency.

[Sunsh1ne]

We have sex 1-2 times a week. Rarely 3 times a week.

[etc]

porn abuse

I’ve been hearing this argument a lot lately. All my life I jerked off to porn, every day, for hours, and somehow I didn’t notice any harm... But age takes its toll. And yet, I still attack my wife every day. Yesterday I had a headache and tore my lower back, but still won. I woke up at night and added more.
Stress interferes, but not as much as a long life together.

Sent after 39 seconds:

We have sex 1-2 times a week. Rarely 3 times a week.

Does he pester himself?

[Sunsh1ne]

We only had every day in the first year when we got married. Then every other day and now 1-2 times is enough for us, but no less often for sure.
I’ve never seen that he watches porn and that he jerks off too. He does not have such a strong sexual constitution. Well, or does it decline after 40? Still young) but after 30 I want it even more and more often than at 20

Sent after 5 minutes 26 seconds:
Yes, he pesters himself. And I pester, usually we take turns, then he and I pester each other. Strokes, hugs, kisses...
But when the penis becomes soft, I stop feeling attractive or something... maybe this is a problem in my head... It’s like I don’t feel the same way as before or what is it...
nIt’s starting to seem to me that he needs sex... but with me it’s not as cool as before...

[etc]

We only had every day in the first year when we got married. Then every other day and now 1-2 times is enough for us, but no less often for sure.
I’ve never seen that he watches porn and that he jerks off too. He does not have such a strong sexual constitution. Well, or does it decline after 40? I’m still young) but after 30 I want it even more and more often than at 20

It’s a pity that it turns out like this for you...
Maybe and the constitution... 2-3 times a week is the norm.
You didn’t answer who takes the initiative?
After forty there is a decline, but a lot depends on ourselves. There are two main reasons: endocrine dysfunction and vascular. In the first case, check testosterone, prolactin, SHBG, and thyroid gland. In the second, the first signs in men are increased blood pressure, decreased potency, increased sugar - dysfunction of the vascular endothelium.

[Sunsh1ne]

He takes the initiative more often than I do

[etc]

He takes the initiative more often than I do

It looks like his potency is weakening...

[Lost]

As they said here, there are many factors. Firstly, age, secondly, strong alcohol is better than beer. Our beer is complete crap, not like abroad. Again, how old is he?

[Sunsh1ne]

He doesn’t want to go to the doctor. Doesn’t like going and getting tests, especially to the urologist (

He is 42 years old

[etc]

Doesn’t want to go to the doctor. Doesn’t like to go and get tested, especially to the urologist (
He is 42 years old

Aerobic exercise, walking, more greens in the diet.

[Sunsh1ne]

His left testicle hurt, I’ve been trying to persuade him for half a year to go to a urologist, but he doesn’t go. It doesn’t seem to hurt as much anymore. Is this actually scary? Do they get sick often?

[etc]

Sunsh1ne, try to draw him a perspective. Can jealousy revive him?)

[Lost]

But in vain, it’s better to get it checked. It’s not necessary that he cheated on you and picked up something. Also age, prostatitis never sleeps. With age, testosterone decreases, and beer reduces it. I know it from myself. I stopped drinking it; if I want to drink it, I drink strong drinks. Yes, it’s time to take men’s vitamins; he’s doing fine with sports, as you say. Therefore, you should first see a doctor in any case.

[etc]

His left testicle hurt, I’ve been trying to persuade him for half a year to go to a urologist, but he doesn’t go. It doesn’t seem to hurt as much anymore. Is this actually scary? Can they get sick often?

I have never gotten sick.

[Mitry]

Men, do you really need new women all the time? Are you really that addicted to it? Or is it different for everyone...

Of course, all people are different. I can’t write for 100% of men, but most would definitely be happy to have sex with someone other than even their very beloved wife. At the same time, not only do they not go to the left, but they don’t even think about it. Possible problems from infidelity, ranging from STDs to a bad conscience, many times outweigh the theoretical pleasure of sex with a stranger. But I’ve already become boring, my libido is declining, there are many other interests in life besides sex.

I bought it because I can’t finish with my husband, we didn’t do anything. But apparently this is my physiology. I love sex madly and like it very much, but I don’t reach the peak. It’s easy with a vibrator and with water and even with your hand when you’re very excited.

Has it always been like this? Does your husband know what doesn’t satisfy you as a man? If two are yes, then he essentially jerks off your entire life together with a woman this is not sex.

Never I didn’t see that he watches porn and that he jerks off too.

Many men hide it, it’s not cheating, it’s his personal business, by and large, he winced quickly and calm.

Well, or does it decline after 40? I’m still young) but after 30 I want it even more and more often than at 20

this is what happens in most cases, unfortunately.
Like you is there sex? Describe in general terms. How long does foreplay last, and how long does sexual intercourse last?

[Skf]

You didn’t understand the meaning. Looks like you didn’t read it well. She wants a threesome.

[Lost]

His left testicle hurt

This is a reason to see a doctor!

Sent after 2 minutes 4 seconds:

they didn’t understand the meaning. Looks like you didn’t read it well. She wants a threesome.

If the husband begins to have problems with potency, it does not mean that the wife wants a group sex

[Mitry]

You didn’t understand the meaning. Looks like you didn’t read it well. She wants a threesome

She wants good sex, to be wanted, an erect penis and orgasms from this. And if not with my husband, then at least somehow. It’s normal, I have nothing to blame her for.

[Lost]

She wants good sex, to be wanted, an erect penis and orgasms from this. And if not with my husband, then at least somehow. This is normal, I have nothing to blame her for.

I agree, my husband just needs to see a doctor, especially since a testicle can’t just hurt. So there is a reason.

[◊_NeBo[_Na_]LaDoNi_◊]

Hello.
During sex with my husband, his erection declines (the penis becomes a little soft) and this can happen several times during sex. This causes me anxiety, when I ask, he answers in different ways, sometimes he’s tired, sometimes I don’t know, sometimes he was afraid to make noise, sometimes one testicle hurts...
We have been married for 15 years, we married for love and there is always sex and it has always been of high quality and often. With the exception of two pregnancies, those who have children will understand.
But about a year ago this problem appeared and I cannot understand what is happening. I start to imagine that my husband has stopped loving me, that he doesn’t want me anymore, or that he loves me but doesn’t want sex with me, or that he has problems with potency, but he won’t admit it (he doesn’t want to go to the doctor). As far as I know, there is no mistress. We have sex regularly 1-2 times a week. He is 42, I am 36. Tell me, what could it be? Why does this happen to a man?

doesn’t want to see a doctor? If it were a matter of interest, then there would either be no erection at all, or he would be semi-flaccid all the time, but you write that he has waves, then gets up, then falls, and if he complains of pain, then that’s a reason to see a doctor.

[Mitry]

Sunsh1ne, Have you changed in appearance lately?

Sent after 5 minutes 16 seconds:

I agree, My husband just needs to see a doctor, especially since a testicle can’t just hurt. So there is a reason

It is always useful to see a doctor, but men really don’t like this.

[Serg_A]

His left testicle hurt, I’ve been trying to persuade him for half a year to go to a urologist, but he doesn’t go. It doesn’t seem to hurt as much anymore. Is this actually scary? Can they often get sick?

This, by the way, is often one of the signs of prostatitis. You should see a urologist, only a good one, and it wouldn’t hurt to go to an andrologist, it happens that this is a doctor rolled into one: a urologist-andrologist.

[◊_NeBo[_Na_]LaDoNi_◊]

His left testicle hurt, I’ve been trying to persuade him for half a year to go to a urologist, but he doesn’t go. It doesn’t seem to hurt as much anymore. Is this actually scary? Can they often get sick?

you know your husband better than us, you probably know how to influence him so that he listens to you and sees a doctor.

[Sunsh1ne]

My husband knows that he does not satisfy me. We tried a lot with him: long foreplay and oral sex, with fingers, tongue, etc. I feel great, pleased, but I don’t reach the finish line, it seems like I’m about to, but no.

Foreplay is usually about 10 minutes, the sexual intercourse itself is probably about 5 minutes.

I offered him a threesome before erection problems, for a change. I told him that I wanted to try, that I didn’t have anyone else, but I didn’t want to cheat...

[Mitry]

Sunsh1ne, You need to teach your husband to satisfy you. Let’s leave the method behind the scenes for now. How does he himself feel about the fact that he is not wealthy as a lover?
Your husband is not doing enough in sex, 10 minutes is not enough, especially since there is no result. In general, I consider it normal for a woman to have one or two orgasms during foreplay; for her, sexual intercourse itself is then just like the icing on the cake. If you yourself easily reach orgasm, it means everything is physiologically normal for you, and your husband is not acting as he should. The problem is not you, the national problem is that people have sex "self-taught" anyhow, most problems are easily solved, but there are vanishingly few specialists, and this is a shameful question for many.

[etc]

I offered him a threesome before erection problems, for a change. I told him that I wanted to try, that I didn’t have anyone else, but I didn’t want to cheat...

You’re great, it’s natural). Just yesterday my wife was telling me that after her first marriage, where her husband was the first and only, she immediately took advantage of the freedom to try with different men. I only made it with three and then I showed up and stepped on the throat of her song.

[Sunsh1ne]

10 minutes of foreplay is when regular sex is enough for me, I’m already all wet and I want to continue...

Sometimes it’s longer, but it even starts to “irritate” me because I want to continue and I know that there will be no finish. I hope I was able to explain...

Do you always have long sex? Sometimes I get overwhelmed and need to do everything quickly. Sometimes when you want to hug and kiss longer, then we do it longer.

Tell me how it goes for you?

[etc]

Tell me how it goes for you?

That’s the thing, everyone is different. Mine, for example, loves pressure, not for long, but intensely and rougher. Doesn’t like foreplay, it throws her off.

[Serg_A]

they tried a lot with him: long foreplay and oral sex, with fingers, tongue, etc. I feel great, pleased, but I don’t reach the finish line, it seems like I’m about to, but no.

Foreplay is usually about 10 minutes, the sexual intercourse itself is probably about 5 minutes, I didn’t time it

I once dated a woman, I told her cunnilingus I did it for one and a half to two hours, I moaned, even screamed, but I couldn’t come, and in the end I brought myself to the point with my hand. But she had some kind of emotional alienation, don’t you have that?

[Sunsh1ne]

That’s what I like, fast and passionate. And not the tongue below the navel, which is not always perfectly soft...

I don’t know how to teach him, because I myself don’t know how to achieve orgasm with a man. You reminded me of an old topic, I’m already used to living like this. We don’t talk about this anymore, I know that he is trying this way and that and they were looking for this point. In general, the process itself is also cool)) I will never simulate and I am writing to you about it frankly.

[etc]

That’s what I like, fast and passionate. And not the tongue below the navel, which is not always perfectly soft...

My tongue says the same thing, the tongue is too soft for the clitoris - it doesn’t like cunnilingus).

[Mitry]

10 minutes of foreplay is when regular sex is enough for me, I’m already all wet and want to continue...

It would be good to continue foreplay until you reach orgasm . After orgasm, are you able to continue caresses, perform sexual intercourse, or is it better not to touch you for a while? It’s very good that you can satisfy yourself, do it together with your husband. It happens that a person gets used to a method of achieving orgasm that cannot be reproduced during sexual intercourse: shower, womanizer, vibrator. Then you need to relearn. Can you encourage your husband to do this?

It sometimes takes longer, but it even starts to “irritate” me because I want to continue and know that there will be no finish. I hope I was able to explain...

I understand you perfectly, I would “become furious” in such a situation.

Do you always have long sex? Sometimes I get overwhelmed and need to do everything quickly. Sometimes when you want to hug and kiss longer, then we do it longer.

Of course not, sometimes it happens quickly.

[Sunsh1ne]

Perhaps I have it too, he doesn’t always know when and how to act. It’s longer here, it’s softer there, and if something goes wrong, the excitement, just to cum, quickly subsides.
I don’t know how to explain, I have two types of arousal, a common one, you want sex and penetration and then to finish it is more complex, it comes and goes quickly if something is wrong. It would be cool if men could read a woman’s thoughts during sex)
And when I speak, I also get confused

[Mitry]

Mine says the same thing, the tongue is too soft for the clitoris - it doesn’t like cunnilingus).

Cuniris is highly overrated, there is more of psychological dominance, you can reach with your fingers much better result. But strength must be dosed moderately!

[Lost]

Mine says the same thing, the tongue is too soft for the clitoris - it doesn’t like cunnilingus).

Yes, just take it and gently bite it with your teeth, she herself will tell you to stop)) ))

Sent after 2 minutes 5 seconds:

nPerhaps I have it too, he doesn’t always know when and how to act. It’s longer here, it’s softer there, and if something knocks you down, the excitement, just to cum, subsides quickly.
I don’t know how to explain, I kind of have two arousals, a common one, you want sex and penetration and then to cum it’s more complex, comes and goes quickly if something goes wrong. It would be cool if men could read a woman’s thoughts during sex)
And when I talk, I also get confused

Probably you don’t let him opportunity. I could be wrong. But a normal guy, if his younger brother let him down, he still has fingers, tongue and teeth

[Mitry]

I don’t know how to explain, I have, like, two arousals, a common one, you want sex and penetration, and then to finish it is more complex, it comes and goes quickly if something is wrong.

The plateau phase of excitation and peak, you can stay on the plateau for a long time, you need to get to the peak quickly, it doesn’t last long.

And when I speak, I also get lost

Few people are capable of meaningful conversation during sex

[Yjjooo]

When they tell me that a man doesn’t watch porn, I don’t believe it)
And I also don’t understand how watching can have a negative effect.
It would be better for boys over 35 to see a urologist once a year as a preventive measure.

[Sunsh1ne]

Are you able to continue caresses after orgasm, perform sexual intercourse, or is it better not to touch you for a while?

I just learned to answer with a quote, I’m here new girl.

After orgasm the excitement subsides, I got what I wanted. But I think I wouldn’t mind continuing, but I didn’t have that.
I wanted to practice with a vibrator, but he didn’t like it. Now you/I will conclude that my husband doesn’t love me at all?

[etc]

It would be better for boys over 35 to go to the Urologist once a year for preventive maintenance

Well, if there is nothing better to do.

[Lost]

You’re talking nonsense, initially you said one thing, now you say something else

[Mitry]

Perhaps I have it too, he doesn’t always know when and how to act. It’s longer here, it’s softer there, and if something knocks you down, the excitement, just to cum, subsides quickly.

Work as a manager take his hand, guide, correct.

[Yjjooo]

Now you/I will conclude that my husband doesn’t love me at all?

Unfortunately, marriage is often built on the principle of enduring love. Especially if there are children.

[etc]

Now you/I will conclude that my husband doesn’t love me at all?

Nonsense, what conclusions?..
People and without sex they live in love.

[Yjjooo]

Work as a leader, take his hand, guide, correct.

I absolutely agree - if your husband wants to please you, then he will be glad to receive "love lessons" ".
In general, in sex and in life in general, there is no need to remain silent. It’s like flowers, for example, all the men carry home the duty roses, and the wife, for example, loves violets or lilies and is silent and says thank you every time... and the husband thinks that he did well. And the wife thinks again that these roses are no beauty, and even if they are touched in water overnight, they will wither quickly.... uh, okay, tomorrow I’ll buy myself a violet in a pot. And this is all instead of a heart-to-heart conversation and discussion of each other’s tastes