​Why doesn't the advice "Calm down" work?

[Guest]

Sooner or later, each of us in our lives is faced with the fact that someone is trying to calm them down, usually this happens when you are crying, angry, or in an anxious state. And, under the influence of such strong emotions, you cannot calm down, and this advice only irritates you.

All because it implies that the person completely lacks empathy, and he does not want to understand and perceive your emotions. It looks like he doesn’t care about your condition, but he demands that you behave decently.[/b]
Immediately there is a feeling of uselessness and meaninglessness of communicating with by this person. You feel like a child who cannot control the situation and his emotional state. The phrase "Calm down" is a barrier, a denial of dialogue and a demonstration of one’s superiority.
nAnd the biggest problem is that if someone tells you “Calm down,” then most likely he is not ready for dialogue. And their horizontal relationships become vertical, that is, from top to bottom.
It is on this phrase that the dialogue cannot be continued. After all, the other person may really believe that you are calm. But at this time you may be hysterical and at the mercy of your strong emotions.
What’s even worse about this phrase is that when presenting such demands a person violates your boundaries. There are, of course, people who, since childhood, have become accustomed to avoiding conflicts, fulfilling demands, and suppressing their emotions. But if you respect your personality and value your mental health, you will not suppress your anger, your anxiety and sadness, because all emotional states need to be lived. After all, all emotions have such a feature of being repressed into the unconscious and accumulating. And ultimately this will lead to nervous breakdowns and exhaustion.
Understand one thing, if a person tells you: “Calm down,” this means that in this situation he has nothing to give you, and he cannot help. And you shouldn’t expect him to change his decision, so as not to overwhelm himself once again.