How I broke up with the person I loved - part 1...

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How I broke up with the person I loved - part 1 (example from personal experience).

In my There have only been three relationships in my life, and the experience of breakups is correspondingly small. And, like any person who finds himself in an unfamiliar situation with a negative emotional connotation, I did not know what to do. And in general, every breakup is individual, so emotions arise differently.

The first time I broke up with a guy because I felt cramped in our relationship. I wanted freedom, bright impressions and travel, but I had to sit at home, watch TV shows and bury my creativity in order to be with him. After analyzing this relationship, I realized that it was codependency, and then I could not do differently. This was my first relationship, and due to the fact that in my parents’ family there was a model where a woman depends on a man, I began to reproduce it in my life. If it weren’t for the example of my parents, I would have learned to develop my hobbies, and not adapt to the interests of another person. I couldn’t do what I wanted, so I had to do everything in secret or out of spite. Ultimately, everything led to conflicts.

Over the years, everything accumulated, and then a quarrel occurred, which led to a breakup. The separation was difficult and long-lasting, despite the fact that we broke up immediately after a quarrel and never saw each other again. He often called me and wrote SMS, which further aggravated my emotional state. I cried a lot and with my depressive moods I drove myself to psychosomatics - severe allergies. My hands were also shaking a lot, and I often had a headache.

Fortunately, I almost immediately moved out of this relationship into a new one, which suited me more in terms of creativity and travel. For about another year I suffered over my ex-boyfriend, and even began to be friends with him, but then, having found an outlet in a new relationship, I finally calmed down. After some time, we stopped communicating, and I forgot about him.

Then there was a new relationship that was filled with creativity - poetry and music and travel to different cities. Here I learned to develop myself regardless of what a man wants. I became independent, responsible and independent, and sometimes it seemed to me that I didn’t need a guy at all. On the one hand, this made me happy, on the other, I still wanted male support, but I didn’t receive enough of it, due to the fact that we lived in different cities. I learned to rely on myself. At first I was not happy with the fact that we lived far from each other, but then I saw many advantages in this. I had a lot of time for myself; I could spend it on work, on friends, and on my hobbies. It was easier and more interesting to love at a distance, we missed each other, I even wrote him several letters. From time to time it still bothered me that we couldn’t live together, and in the end it turned out that we had completely different goals in life. I wanted a common space and family, to develop professionally and creatively. For me it was almost a tragedy, because it foreshadowed the end of our relationship. But he didn’t want to leave, so he agreed to live together.

And when we were close to moving, I got sick and was sick for 2 weeks. It was a cold with a runny nose, sore throat and fever. Psychologists say that it arises due to the fact that a person has accumulated unexperienced grievances. This was the limit, and I couldn’t wait any longer for us to move in together. I have been waiting for this for several years, and now it has begun to appear in the form of health problems. We called at the end of the week, and a quarrel ensued. Usually, we were able to resolve the conflict, but not in this situation. Here we are faced with the fact that our resources have become so depleted over the years that we have no strength left for this. We argued over the phone and via SMS, and I felt so bad that I went to my friend so that she could support me. We continued to conflict, and at some point I asked a question about whether he wanted to continue the relationship, and he said:"No"...