How I experienced breaking up with my loved one -...

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How I experienced parting with a loved one - part 2 (an example from personal experience).
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That’s when it all ended, as I remember now, I couldn’t stay with my friend anymore and went home. The first snow was falling outside, it was night, I walked down the street and cried. I cried so much that I couldn’t stop, and I no longer felt either fever or cold. I just felt bad, so bad, it was as if my whole life had been in this relationship. But that’s how it was, I spent several years of my life on them, a lot of money, nerves, I went through so much over the years. And at one moment everything collapsed. All the hopes, all the efforts... All that was left was pain, all-consuming and strong. I cried for half the night and could hardly sleep. In the morning I went to the cemetery to see my father to mentally communicate with him and understand what to do next. This didn’t help me; the necessary thoughts never came to mind. Then I went to pick up the sweater that I ordered for his birthday, walked around the entire neighborhood in the cold, but never found a place where I could pick it up. I asked my mom for help, and together we found it, and ended up having to wait another day to receive the order. It was painful to wait for something that would remind of him.

But he reminded of himself by writing to me. He talked about his plans, which did not include me. And it was so sad that I resorted to alcohol and cigarettes. I didn’t know how to get out of this, I wanted only one thing - to forget and relieve the pain. And forgetting about my profession, about the recommendations that I gave to people going through a breakup, I slowly sank to the bottom.

What was most upsetting was that I was not part of his plans, and the fact that he asked to take a break from each other and think about whether such a relationship is necessary. We hadn’t seen each other for weeks anyway, and now we still had to wait an incomprehensible amount of time. I understood him, always understood and supported him, but it was still difficult to experience it. All these misunderstandings prompted me to go to my friend. But it was so painful to drive through the city with which our relationship was connected... The bars in which we sat, the shops in which we bought something, and this is the bus station from which I left for him... It was simply torn apart into parts. After talking with a friend, I realized that I needed to get out of this relationship before it killed me. And at night I wrote to him that we were breaking up.

The next day we decided on all the common matters, and my depression began... There was only me left in my lonely world and a bunch of things given by him... There was only me and our common project left... There was only me and my heart torn to shreds... I didn’t need anyone... People offended me with their In words, I was drowned out by silence, I was destroyed by loneliness... I was alone, absolutely alone, and even after starting a new relationship after some time, I carried this loneliness and pain with me. And nothing went well, nothing worked out, my love was like a corpse that I dragged along with me through life. It seemed to me that I could not love anyone, that this feeling had died in me, until I experienced all my pain... Every painful moment... And now I live and feel again, and I am glad that I can love again.