Where and how to find tactility, sex, understanding?

[LazyEugene]

Hello. A little question, a little cry from the heart (whining, if you want)
I had my first intimate experience very late. 25+ years. I’m ashamed... Although I dreamed about it like everyone else, probably since I was 14. I had fantasies and watching porn... But I was so withdrawn, unsure of myself, considered myself unworthy... I was also an idealist. I was looking for a relationship for life. Now I would also like to find a person for life, but I would not like to start with this. And with ease.
After the first sex, on the one hand, I received wings, incredible pleasure. On the other hand there is pain. I have always believed that intimacy, and simply tactility, contemplation of a girl is an incredible pleasure. And when I received this, I was even more convinced. This is true. But when this is not there... It is horror, it is torment, primarily moral. I am a kinesthetic person, I have a strong tactile hunger. Even just caressing a girl, giving her a foot massage is super... And every day I think about it. This darkness..
There was a relationship, but it didn’t work out. But how they raised self-esteem, how much pleasant it was.
I was looking for another relationship, a serious one. Have not found. I decided to find something easy. A girl who also just wants intimate life and affection (and prospects later), who is in the dark without this. But it’s even more difficult. People make things very complicated, for the most part. Or they themselves don’t know what they want. Or sheer hypocrisy. And sometimes there was simply tactile and intimate incompatibility.
I don’t want to use someone. Why is it so difficult to give warmth to each other, because we both need it?
Now my self-esteem is again like that of a timid 20-year-old guy. Although I am already 35 years old. But I haven’t received female warmth for 1.5 years. I am overcome by thoughts that not only will I not make up for lost time, but I will also not get anything more.
Probably my problem is that I am a soft, homely, introverted person. I’m outspoken, but I’m not one to take my own. I need to be given confidence that they want me, even initiative. It would be cool even with an older woman, although that doesn’t matter. What is more important is this compatibility.
I read this forum, topics. People here have a hectic life, they feel good, the girls show off their beauty and fantasies. I’m happy for them, but how sad it is that I don’t have this.. It seems to me that I have no place here because of my position.
I don’t know how to find sex and tactility, affection. If I were fabulously rich, it would be possible to get it for money. But this is not the case, because I want sincerity.
It seems like St. Petersburg, where I live, is a populated city. But I couldn’t find anything... I went to the chpoking site, but there were 2.5 people sitting there. A lot of commerce and frankly strange people... Going to bars and clubs to "take pictures". No, that’s not it. Terrible atmosphere there for me. In general, I understand that it is my own fault. That he has not learned to get what he wants, is apparently underdeveloped in this regard.
Sometimes, I would like to lose all my sensitivity, all my need, not to suffer and not to need anyone or anything. On the other hand, what meaning will there be in life?
My tactile hunger cannot be drowned out by activities and hobbies. It gets worse over the years.
Maybe there is some obvious tip, advice on where to find sex, simple, sincere, cozy communication and affection... But I’m used to not expecting understanding. Nobody is obliged to understand me.

[alexey.bro]

I don’t want to use anyone. Why is it so difficult to give warmth to each other, because we both need it?

Girls need not only warmth.. but also support in life, so that they they understood that they could rely on you, and in any situation, no matter what, you could solve it, but if you don’t give them this.. believe me, it will be very difficult to find someone.. first, understand yourself.. think about what you can do. give your chosen one, besides your warmth? Gather your will into a fist.. you’re a man and act.. They will reach out to you, you definitely won’t get specific advice here.. everyone has different lives

Sent after 1 minute 18 seconds:
LazyEugene,
Everything depends on the man, even the most modest one can be a whore, and vice versa, a whore will become a faithful and loving wife , everything depends on you...

[LazyEugene]

Girls need not only warmth... but also support in life, so that they understand that they can rely on you, and in any situation, no matter what, you could solve it, if you don’t give them this.. believe me, it will be very difficult to find someone.. first, understand yourself.. think about what you can give to your chosen one, besides your warmth? Gather your will into a fist.. you are a man and act.. They will reach out to you, you definitely won’t get specific advice here.. everyone has different lives

nThank you. I understand that a relationship requires a lot of things. I know what I can give, I know my pros and cons.
I know what I want. Satisfy spiritual tactile hunger, give and receive pleasure, receive cozy communication. I’m not looking for a relationship yet.

[◊_NeBo[_Na_]LaDoNi_◊]

LazyEugene, have you tried dating sites?

On this forum, different people meet... some are also lonely, do not think that you are the only one here.

[Murena0314]

I’m not looking for a relationship yet.

I dare to suggest that the majority of girls and women who do not have relationships with men are single, but are still looking for relationships, even if They don’t want to admit it to themselves. Therefore, they want something more from men than just sex and warmth. Therefore, there are only three options: to be rich, or to be a real Man in the broad sense of the word, or to combine both of these options.

[LazyEugene]

Have you tried dating sites?

Yes, of course
n

I dare to suggest that the majority of girls and women who do not have relationships with men, who are single, are still looking for relationships, even if they themselves do not want to admit it to themselves. Therefore, they want something more from men than just sex and warmth. Therefore, there are only three options: to be rich, or to be a real Man in the broad sense of the word, or to combine both of these options.

Yes, of course. Even I’m looking for a little more voice. Even in friendship sex, I would invest more (respect, care) than many in a serious relationship. Being rich is cool in everything except... Then I would stop not trusting people at all. And look for relationships even more so. Because I can’t stomach commercialism.

[Mud hammer]

Almost nothing works out with girls my age either. My appearance isn’t very good either. Not tall and glasses. There were complexes in high school, and even from a family of emigrants, it was difficult with the language. So far it’s only easy with older women. I myself love them very much. Although it seems to me that some of them just feel sorry for me, that’s why they allow sex. But it’s unclear what to do next. In 5 or 10 years, we need to start a family. I tried the apps on my phone, but it was still useless.

[LazyEugene]

Slamhammer

where do you look for older women?)

[◊_NeBo[_Na_]LaDoNi_◊]

Have you tried dating sites?

Yes, of course

I dare to suggest that the majority of girls and women who do not have relationships with men, are single, and are still looking for relationships, even if they themselves do not want to admit it to themselves. Therefore, they want something more from men than just sex and warmth. Therefore, there are only three options: to be rich, or to be a real Man in the broad sense of the word, or to combine both of these options.

Yes, of course. Even I’m looking for a little more voice. Even in friendship sex, I would invest more (respect, care) than many in a serious relationship. Being rich is cool in everything except... Then I would stop not trusting people at all. And look for relationships even more so. Because I can’t stomach commercialism.

i.e. Apart from tactility, you can’t offer a girl anything and don’t want to?.. do you think many girls will agree to this?

[Mud hammer]

Where do you look for older women?)

I wrote about it here. I’m not even looking for it myself. About two or three times a year I have to go to the ophthalmologist, sometimes I even stay in the hospital. And almost every time a woman, also a patient, sees my huge glasses, then someone inevitably starts asking what it is and how and why. Then on other topics we say of course. Many people are interested in talking about theater, exhibitions, and contemporary art. And then he invites you to drink tea in the evening. Because usually they come from all over the country and rent an apartment or live in a hotel. Even someone who is married. I never refused. The rest of the time, sex generally doesn’t happen. I am now friends with some of them and correspond with them.

[LazyEugene]

i.e. Apart from tactility, you can’t offer a girl anything and don’t want to?.. do you think many girls will agree to this?

I can offer a lot, there is no desire for everyone more. Although, of course, as I already said, even in an easy relationship, there will be a lot of care and respect on my part. And the desire will appear if the person is mine and it will be great to be with him. And so it was already offered and invested into nothing. Although I myself, for example, do not ask to be offered anything other than tactility. At the moment there is only such a need. It suits me. Why shouldn’t there be girls like this?
Well, if I offer a girl more, what will she offer in return? It should be mirrored.

[◊_NeBo[_Na_]LaDoNi_◊]

i.e. Apart from tactility, you can’t offer a girl anything and don’t want to?.. do you think many girls will agree to this?

I can offer a lot, there is no desire for everyone more. Although, of course, as I already said, even in an easy relationship, there will be a lot of care and respect on my part. And the desire will appear if the person is mine and it will be great to be with him. And so it was already offered and invested into nothing. Although I myself, for example, do not ask to be offered anything other than tactility. At the moment there is only such a need. It suits me. Why shouldn’t there be girls like this?
Well, if I offer a girl more, what will she offer in return? It should be mirrored.

from your first message it seemed that you are in an extremely difficult situation, you feel a lack and deficiency, i.e. agree to everything, just give it, and now it turns out that you are also choosing... not to be mercantile, to give something else besides sex.. hmm.. something is not very clear

[LazyEugene]

from your first message it seemed that you are in an extremely difficult situation, you feel a lack and deficiency, i.e. agree to everything, just give it, and now it turns out that you are also choosing... not to be materialistic, to give something else besides sex.. hmm.. something is not very clear

As I wrote, I am looking not only for tactility, but also for understanding in this. I also mentioned material relationships, there is no sincerity there. I know that there are girls who care about the same things as me. And at the moment they also have tactile hunger. They don’t want any other benefit from above. And just sincerely warm, like me. And then time will tell what will happen. Maybe it’s true that they say that the most serious relationships come out of frivolous ones))
And if a girl wants it right away, then, behold, the fifth or tenth, and in return she only gets a “pussy.” This means, at a minimum, that sex is not important to her, but the benefits. And I want a man who loves sex. Yes, and this rightly begs the question, what kind of penis will you offer me then?)

[◊_NeBo[_Na_]LaDoNi_◊]

from your first message it seemed that you are in an extremely difficult situation, you feel a lack and deficiency, i.e. agree to everything, just give it, and now it turns out that you are also choosing... not to be materialistic, to give something else besides sex.. hmm.. something is not very clear

As I wrote, I am looking not only for tactility, but also for understanding in this. I also mentioned material relationships, there is no sincerity there. I know that there are girls who care about the same things as me. And at the moment they also have tactile hunger. They don’t want any other benefit from above. And just sincerely warm, like me. And then time will tell what will happen. Maybe it’s true that they say that the most serious relationships come out of frivolous ones))
And if a girl wants it right away, then, behold, the fifth or tenth, and in return she only gets a “pussy.” This means, at a minimum, that sex is not important to her, but the benefits. And I want a man who loves sex. Yes, and the question rightly arises, what kind of penis will you offer me then?)

I see.. there are no more questions

[Pierro]

I see.. no more questions

ooo.. explain to us.. "tactility" is groping someone?

[◊_NeBo[_Na_]LaDoNi_◊]

I see.. no more questions

ooo.. Explain to us.. "tactility" is groping someone?

you’d better ask the author, he’s an expert in this)

[davenant_1]

So start asking for a date, especially since you live in such a big city) fortunately there are places to go in St. Petersburg)

[RANGE_]

In St. Petersburg there are probably a bunch of paid and free schools or dance courses for adults (Argentine tango and the like) - as an option for a place for dating a woman, gain tactility and become more relaxed. It is important to choose a place where more young ladies go. There are a lot of kinesthetics among dance lovers. And if you want sex and tactility, push your introversion, at least for a while, somewhere... she’s no stranger to being alone))