I feel dirty after any contact with the male sex

[Aim]

Guys, I’m 21. I was taught from childhood that sex is only after marriage. What, girls with a decent upbringing won’t fuck with just anyone. And, if suddenly, after the first wedding night I do not turn out to be a girl, then they will refuse me, and I will be disgraced. Now I don’t plan to get married at all, but I want physical contact. But my cockroaches in my head don’t allow this. I had one guy, I touched his penis for the first time. And after that, I felt sick of myself. How to overcome this? Yes, and this feeling doesn’t leave me that if I sleep with someone even with a wired up, I’ll still get sick

[young lady]

Hello! It seems to me that you can try to adjust your beliefs, attitudes and guidelines in this regard. Our world is changing rapidly, and what was once normal is no longer normal in our time.

Nature still demands its way. If you feel a desire for intimacy with the guys, then do not deny yourself this. Another thing is that you don’t need to do this with just anyone. But when you like a guy and he likes you, when there are feelings, harmony, agreement, mutual understanding between you, then the union of your bodies will not be dirty, sinful, or perverted.

[Gen-123456]

I will answer with a quote from one well-known series of works by a Polish author:

"—Mistress Yennefer, how can it really be? How do you know when the time has come...
- Go to bed with a man?
Ciri was silent for a long time, then she looked up and nodded.
“Very simple,” Yennefer said easily. “Since you started to think about it, it means.” The time has already come.
- But I don’t want to!
- And it’s not at all necessary. If you don’t want to, you don’t go.
- Yeah,” Ciri bit her lip again. - And this... Well... Man... How do you know that he is the one with whom...
— ... you can go to bed?
n— Uh-huh.
— If, in principle, you have a choice,” the sorceress smiled wryly, “but you don’t have much experience, then first of all you should evaluate not the man, but the bed.”
Ciri’s emerald eyes and shape and the size turned into bowls.
- That is, like... a bed?
- And like this, those who have no bed at all should be immediately excluded from the remaining owners who are dirty and dirty. untidy beds. And when only those whose beds are clean and tidy remain, you choose the one you liked more than others. Unfortunately, this method does not guarantee one hundred percent certainty. You can make a damn mistake."

What I’m getting at - let it take its course, but you definitely need to think, look as if from the outside - what’s going on, do I really want this or are they stupid? hormones? And in any case, always remember to protect yourself so that it doesn’t hurt even more!

[sevener]

Guys, I’m 21. I was taught from childhood that sex is only after marriage. What, girls with a decent upbringing won’t fuck with just anyone. And, if suddenly, after the first wedding night I do not turn out to be a girl, then they will refuse me, and I will be disgraced. Now I don’t plan to get married at all, but I want physical contact. But my cockroaches in my head don’t allow this. I had one guy, I touched his penis for the first time. And after that, I felt sick of myself. How to overcome this? Yes, and this feeling does not leave me that if I sleep with someone even with a wired up, I will still get sick

1. Work with a good psychologist, this should definitely help.
2. Work on your own beliefs. I have already written that human morality and religion are conditional concepts created for control. and control of masses of people that have nothing to do with divine morality. In other words, fucking is not a sin both in marriage and outside marriage.
3. Touched a penis - it’s great, don’t stop there. It’s better to honestly admit to the man that it’s you. is embarrassing, ask him not to rush or put pressure on you.
It’s best to gradually get used to this, try watching erotica first, appreciate the beauty, then porn, gradually get used to it, caress yourself if you start getting orgasms. will quickly change subconscious attitudes.
4. About pregnancy - if the man is experienced, then you won’t notice. Of course, for the first times it is better to use condoms, but from the experience of me and my friends, you can fuck for years without protection and the woman will not get pregnant. , the main thing is not to cum in the vagina. But young guys may not be able to control it. Also, even if someone cums inside you, there are remedies like postinor. And a bunch of other means of protection. You can use spermicidal lubricants during sex. You can go to the gynecologist, he will prescribe pills, etc.
5. And I want to add one more thing about marriage. Until now, well-known nationalities advocate maintaining virginity before marriage. But this is irrelevant in our times. There is no need to limit women. The men of these nationalities themselves fuck everything, including, as you know, not only people. There is no need to worry now and they have a more loyal attitude towards women without virginity. If necessary, surgery to restore virginity is very cheap and accessible. And besides those men, there are plenty of others who even really like that the girl already has experience of sex, that you don’t need to injure her, cause pain during the first sex, etc.

[Aim]

Thanks a lot!

[nz_alex]

And I was taught from childhood that a wedding is a dangerous relic of the past. Think about it from a different perspective.

[Say]

Attitudes from childhood are the strongest and often they interfere with a normal life. When from childhood you are taught not to fight back because it is bad, to be obedient and so on, then it is very difficult for a person to realize himself. He cannot normally fight for his place and what he likes. It’s easier to agree and just wait. We must remember that time is running out very quickly. You don’t have time to understand how year after year passes. At 35 you regret what you didn’t do at 20. Of course, you don’t need to rush headlong into the pool, but you need to live now. The body requires it, that’s how we are designed. As mentioned above, you need to consult a psychologist. You can do worse yourself. A good specialist will do everything right.

[Marisola]

Aim, just one conversation with a psychologist (psychotherapist) will sort you out priorities are different.
Nothing will change in the world, but for you everything will be different. Because the main problem, as I understand it, is in your perception. Then you yourself will be surprised

[Mamenkin Test)]

sevener, I completely agree with you! Maybe I’m wrong, you can try to find the same guy who is afraid. And then you will recognize each other, because he will be willing to do for you whatever you want and you were not as scared as he was!

[alphabet97]

I don’t really trust psychologists myself, so we’ll skip the advice about them. I think that with a truly close person, your psyche will not reject lovemaking or his body parts... I also grew up in a similar upbringing, that you need to be worthy, not engage in “whoreness” and blah blah blah. As a result, I had sex for the first time later than all my peers in my circle, but everything was great. I just met the right person and that’s it, all moral foundations were destroyed

[voffkomg]

And after that, I was sick of myself

Mademoiselle, you should go to a psychologist.
It’s hard to break such patterns.

The main thing is to understand: you have your own life in this world, which is fundamentally different from the one on which your parents were brought up.
So "I won’t give you until the wedding" somewhat outdated.
And it’s up to you to decide with whom and when.
Moreover, what kind of husband do you need for whom the presence of a “seal” is the main condition for taking you as a wife and further marriage, and it overshadows everything else in you and your relationship?

And what kind of house-building is this?
How do parents find out about "after the first wedding night I won’t turn out to be a girl"?
Are they really going to hold a candle, or will they demand that a sheet with a bloody stain be hung from the balcony?
No? Well, then the husband will tell them that everything is wonderful, and that, in fact, it’s not their business at all

P.S.
Moreover, in Moscow!
Are there still virgins left there?

[Skeletal]

Old templates work well if you know how to use them. There is nothing wrong with the first bed after marriage. This goal can be achieved on both sides without problems and with only a little discipline. The disgust is understandable - there is little aesthetics in the appendage. If the path to the shoot is not through love, but through lust, then nothing but vomiting is expected.
There are other methods of satisfying lust recommended by doctors. Quite hygienic.

[Affectionate]

Aim, I deeply sympathize! In this case, only a good psychologist (not to be confused with a psychiatrist) can help.

[Cat Matroskin.]

Definitely consult a psychologist. My wife didn’t feel dirty. But...
Soviet puritanical upbringing - no, no, before the wedding. After that, she only lies on her back, with her legs slightly spread. Bend your knees or bend your legs up to your head - I’m like a prostitute and in tears. Whether I’m lying on my side or lying down, I’m not a dog in heat. There was no question of picking up a penis. And in your mouth, as soon as you stutter, you immediately vomit over the toilet.
And I’m a guy with experience. It’s good for me, but she is serving her marital duty.
After the next insertion of the penis, he left his hand there to caress her clitoris. I fought back until I showed him in the book “Intimate Life in the Family.” They gave one to the newlyweds at school (before the wedding, mandatory attendance - 2 days and a certificate from the registry office). But they say there was no sex in the USSR...
I gave in and enjoyed it. Then he persuaded her to do other poses (all according to the same book (drawn in outline).
But when she was in storage, she heard so many details from future mothers. For example, how she leans over the railing of the 9th floor balcony, She’s scared, and he enjoys it, because everything there shrinks with fear. Or like a facial mask with sperm after a blowjob. I also tried it on top of him, now it’s the only way I’m in charge.
One word for the moment when, after birth. child, it became possible for us, it was already completely decoded.

[Sibiryak89]

Guys, I’m 21. I was taught from childhood that sex is only after marriage. What, girls with a decent upbringing won’t fuck with just anyone. And, if suddenly, after the first wedding night I do not turn out to be a girl, then they will refuse me, and I will be disgraced. Now I don’t plan to get married at all, but I want physical contact. But my cockroaches in my head don’t allow this. I had one guy, I touched his penis for the first time. And after that, I felt sick of myself. How to overcome this? Yes, and this feeling does not leave me that if I sleep with someone even with a wired up, I will still get sick

Cockroaches are poisoned with dichlorvos, but everything comes with experience, and experience comes from constant meetings and comparisons...