Today I decided to reveal this burning issue for you. Because almost everyone is afraid of being alone, without help, support and love. And I was afraid of this, but life brought me face to face with loneliness, when my boyfriend was far away, when a loved one died in my family, when I learned to save myself.
At first, loneliness seemed to me something terrible and depressing; I wanted to be saved by random people and those acquaintances with whom we had long since exhausted communication. But then I recovered after the loss of a loved one and, due to a healthy nervous system, found the strength to live on. And then I learned to find strength for relaxation in solitude and, in general, many different resources. So I learned that I could draw, write stories and poetry well, and later I seriously began studying psychological literature, working on the channel “I cured Freud” and private practice. But I won’t say that I was always alone; people appeared nearby, but I didn’t always have healthy relationships with them. And then I cut myself off from those people whose communication did not bring me any benefit. I was alone for only a short time; others took their place and could provide me with useful resources. So loneliness can be useful, and I want to tell you more about it.
It is always associated with fear and powerlessness, and many flee from him into codependent relationships[/b]. Everyone experiences it differently, but almost everyone struggles with disturbing dreams and thoughts. But running away from it is stupid, and the surest way to come to terms with it is to accept it and feel. I can say that loneliness is heterogeneous, there are 3 types of loneliness - interpersonal, intrapersonal and existential.
Interpersonal - the simplest, this is when you have no friends, no partner, few social contacts. Almost everyone experiences this type of loneliness. Intrapersonal is the most difficult thing, it is loneliness from oneself, from one’s “I”. It happens when a person suppresses his own feelings and desires and replaces them with the aspirations of others. And this is done because it’s easier to live this way, it’s easier to go with the flow and not decide anything on your own. Existential is the loneliness that everyone suffers from, and it is precisely this loneliness that people do not want to see or acknowledge.
In the case of intrapersonal and existential loneliness, a person seeks an opportunity to dissolve in the crowd, friends, active life and, most often, in a partner. And he is convinced that until he merges with his partner, he will not be happy. But dependence on relationships gives rise to anxiety, because the other person is unpredictable, just as life itself is unpredictable. Relationships can end, a partner can leave our life and die altogether.
And to avoid this anxious attachment, you need to allow loneliness into your life. A person must separate from another in order to experience isolation. First he must separate from the family to find out his interests, habits and requests. Then he separates from his partner. But first he needs to admit that relationships are not eternal, and he needs to look for his resources to survive in that world.
It is meeting loneliness that helps you find your inner strength and truly love another person. Even though no relationship can eradicate loneliness, love can lessen the pain of isolation. You will stop clinging to your partner out of fear of being alone, you will be able to see his personality and stop placing your hopes on him.
Don’t run from loneliness, it’s what makes you yourself. This is the only way you can be alone with yourself, the only way you will learn to love and be truly loved. You should not strive to dissolve in others; people will not give you the same resource that you can find in yourself.
If you are faced with loneliness, it means that you need it now. Enjoy communicating with yourself and don’t fill your life with unnecessary people! If you are stuck in this state for a long time and have difficulty communicating, I am waiting for you at my consultations I wish you cozy evenings with a mug of cocoa, your favorite films and loved ones!
[i]Today I decided to reveal this burning issue for you. Because almost everyone is afraid of being alone, without help, support and love. And I was afraid of this, but life brought me face to face with loneliness, when my boyfriend was far away, when a loved one died in my family, when I learned to save myself.[/i]
[i]At first, loneliness seemed to me something terrible and depressing; I wanted to be saved by random people and those acquaintances with whom we had long since exhausted communication. But then I recovered after the loss of a loved one and, due to a healthy nervous system, found the strength to live on. And then I learned to find strength for relaxation in solitude and, in general, many different resources. So I learned that I could draw, write stories and poetry well, and later I seriously began studying psychological literature, working on the channel “I cured Freud” and private practice. But I won’t say that I was always alone; people appeared nearby, but I didn’t always have healthy relationships with them. And then I cut myself off from those people whose communication did not bring me any benefit. I was alone for only a short time; others took their place and could provide me with useful resources. So loneliness can be useful, and I want to tell you more about it.[/i]
It is always associated with fear and powerlessness, and many flee from him into codependent relationships[/b]. Everyone experiences it differently, but almost everyone struggles with disturbing dreams and thoughts. But running away from it is stupid, and [b]the surest way to come to terms with it is to accept it and feel[/b]. I can say that loneliness is heterogeneous, [b]there are 3 types of loneliness - interpersonal, intrapersonal and existential.[/b][b] Interpersonal[/b] - the simplest, this is when you have no friends, no partner, few social contacts. Almost everyone experiences this type of loneliness. [b]Intrapersonal [/b]is the most difficult thing, it is loneliness from oneself, from one’s “I”. It happens when a person suppresses his own feelings and desires and replaces them with the aspirations of others. And this is done because it’s easier to live this way, it’s easier to go with the flow and not decide anything on your own. [b]Existential[/b] is the loneliness that everyone suffers from, and it is precisely this loneliness that people do not want to see or acknowledge.[b] In the case of intrapersonal and existential loneliness, a person seeks an opportunity to dissolve in the crowd, friends, active life and, most often, in a partner. [/b]And he is convinced that until he merges with his partner, he will not be happy. But [b]dependence on relationships gives rise to anxiety[/b], because the other person is unpredictable, just as life itself is unpredictable. Relationships can end, a partner can leave our life and die altogether.[b] And to avoid this anxious attachment, you need to allow loneliness into your life. [/b]A person must separate from another in order to experience isolation. [b]First he must separate from the family[/b] to find out his interests, habits and requests. [b]Then he separates from his partner. [/b]But first he needs to admit that relationships are not eternal, and he needs to look for his resources to survive in that world.[b] It is meeting loneliness that helps you find your inner strength and truly love another person. [/b]Even though no relationship can eradicate loneliness, love can lessen the pain of isolation. [b]You will stop clinging to your partner out of fear of being alone, you will be able to see his personality and stop placing your hopes on him.[/b][b] Don’t run from loneliness, it’s what makes you yourself. This is the only way you can be alone with yourself, the only way you will learn to love and be truly loved. You should not strive to dissolve in others; people will not give you the same resource that you can find in yourself.[/b][b] If you are faced with loneliness, it means that you need it now. Enjoy communicating with yourself and don’t fill your life with unnecessary people! If you are stuck in this state for a long time and have difficulty communicating, I am waiting for you at my consultations [i]😉[/b][/i]I wish you cozy evenings with a mug of cocoa, your favorite films and loved ones! [i][b]😊[/b ][/i][i][b] ☕[/b][/i]
[quote=Andertalec24 post_id=3001 time=1584967365 user_id=268] we need to fill time, not kill it, but use it. [/quote]A good conclusion from a good post!
[quote=niqk post_id=171797 time=1677003142 user_id=218] [ref=#bf0000]Marinka[/ref], which is very easy to fall into and it’s almost impossible to get out... [/quote]
Well, everyone has their own associations! It could also be rafting on a mountain river. And a journey across the stormy sea in different
ships: from luxurious sailboats or yachts to fragile skiffs. And wandering through the jungle, chock-full of wild animals... The fantasies are inexhaustible...
Well, everyone has their own associations! It could also be rafting on a mountain river. And a journey across the stormy sea in different ships: from luxurious sailboats or yachts to fragile skiffs. And wandering through the jungle, chock-full of wild animals... The fantasies are inexhaustible...
Be a sociable person. If you are invited to visit, to have a barbecue, or to go fishing, there is no time to refuse. Be generous. And you will be willingly invited to visit on New Year’s Eve, etc. And the problem of loneliness will be solved.
These users thanked the author Tamerlane for the post:
Be a sociable person. If you are invited to visit, to have a barbecue, or to go fishing, there is no time to refuse. Be generous. And you will be willingly invited to visit on New Year’s Eve, etc. And the problem of loneliness will be solved.
Tamerlan: ↑22 Feb 2023, 03:34
Be a sociable person. If you are invited to visit, to have a barbecue, or to go fishing, there is no time to refuse. Be generous. And you will be willingly invited to visit on New Year’s Eve, etc. And the problem of loneliness will be solved.
It doesn’t work that way.
One-sided approach.
Everything depends on the person himself.
An extrovert may well find the right emotions and continue life with this approach.
An introvert, on the contrary, will most likely fade away. Because all your energy will go into communicating with everyone and everyone.
These users thanked the author Aion2012Dead for the post:
[quote=Tamerlan post_id=172012 time=1677065668 user_id=15276] Be a sociable person. If you are invited to visit, to have a barbecue, or to go fishing, there is no time to refuse. Be generous. And you will be willingly invited to visit on New Year’s Eve, etc. And the problem of loneliness will be solved. [/quote] It doesn’t work that way. One-sided approach. Everything depends on the person himself. An extrovert may well find the right emotions and continue life with this approach. An introvert, on the contrary, will most likely fade away. Because all your energy will go into communicating with everyone and everyone.
Tamerlan: ↑22 Feb 2023, 03:34
Be a sociable person. If you are invited to visit, to have a barbecue, or to go fishing, there is no time to refuse. Be generous. And you will be willingly invited to visit on New Year’s Eve, etc. And the problem of loneliness will be solved.
It doesn’t work that way.
One-sided approach.
Everything depends on the person himself.
An extrovert may well find the right emotions and continue life with this approach.
An introvert, on the contrary, will most likely fade away. Because all my energy will go into communicating with everyone and everyone.
I expressed my opinion.
Since I am not a qualified psychoanalyst. I can’t say anything.
[quote=Aion2012Dead post_id=271884 time=1697277275 user_id=6819] [quote=Tamerlan post_id=172012 time=1677065668 user_id= 15276] Be a sociable person. If you are invited to visit, to have a barbecue, or to go fishing, there is no time to refuse. Be generous. And you will be willingly invited to visit on New Year’s Eve, etc. And the problem of loneliness will be solved. [/quote] It doesn’t work that way. One-sided approach. Everything depends on the person himself. An extrovert may well find the right emotions and continue life with this approach. An introvert, on the contrary, will most likely fade away. Because all my energy will go into communicating with everyone and everyone. [/quote]
I expressed my opinion. Since I am not a qualified psychoanalyst. I can’t say anything.
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I wish you cozy evenings with a mug of cocoa, your favorite films and loved ones! 
