Grandfather and my childhood. Violence against a child. But not sexual intercourse.

[Alyosha]

I remember my grandfather once tried to get me to take off my panties in front of him, and I was left completely naked. It was in the summer, in Ukraine, when I came to my grandfather, I could walk there either in my underpants, or in just shorts and panties. In his yard, surrounded by a fence, and in his hut. And he also climbed trees like that, in his yard. I was proud and it was important to me that no one restricted my freedom, so that no one forbade me to climb trees, for example. I was about 10 years old. I remember I went to the toilet to poop, and my grandfather said to me: “You need to wash your butt with water, take a bowl of water, scoop water from the basin with your hand, and wash your butt with this water after you’ve pooped. Every time. Why don’t you wash it like that?” ?, you have to wash like this, you have to rinse, squat down and wash over the basin like that. This is called hygiene." End of quote. And then I did not accept his offer. It seemed to me that it was too tiring, and too long, instead of using toilet paper, fiddling with a basin and water. And I didn’t want to take off my panties in front of my grandfather either. I then realized that such a procedure would require taking off my panties, and taking them off completely. I didn’t want to humiliate myself in front of my grandfather either, sort of. I was proud. I considered it an insult that he could see me naked. It’s hard to remember now, but I remember for sure that I didn’t accept his offer. He didn’t see me naked then. But what do you think? After that, my grandfather did something that I never expected from him then. He acted not as a relative but as a stranger.

After "this" the grandfather did something he had never done before. The word "this" is what I used to describe the proposal, which had become incomprehensible to me at the time, to wash my bare butt in front of my grandfather, after I had gone to the toilet for the most part. Briefly speaking. I was about 10 years old, but that was another day. I went to the shower and washed myself in the shower, completely naked. And his shower was outside. I don’t remember exactly why my grandfather was able to open and swing open the door of this shower, precisely when I was there completely naked, without panties. I do not remember. Maybe the hook there broke, and the door had to be pressed somehow so that it wouldn’t open. And that’s why he was able to open it? Or maybe it was something else. I would probably have closed the door, that’s for sure, 100%, with a hook. But for some reason my grandfather managed to open it when I was in the shower. Maybe he himself broke that hook, intentionally, before I went to the shower? I don’t remember, I don’t know. But I very much doubt that I myself would not close the door on the hook when entering the shower. I was about 10 years old at the time, and children are usually more shy than adults. Many times, much, more bashful. Briefly speaking. When I was completely naked in the shower, my grandfather opened the shower door and saw me completely naked, without panties. He smiled and chuckled. I was indignant that he specifically, deliberately, opened the door that way, knowing that I was naked there. I said something to him indignantly, or even shouted, standing in front of him with my bare pussy. I was still trying to close that door. He probably tried to cover his pussy too, I don’t remember exactly. It’s hard to pump up your rights, and threaten someone, or accuse someone of something, when you’re completely naked in front of this person, well, those to whom you shout all this. I don’t remember what happened next. After that I came to my second grandfather. I lived with him all summer, except for those days when I came to that grandfather who opened the shower door. I changed. At first I was against what my grandfather did. And then he stopped being against and became for.

Then a few days later I came back to that grandfather. I decided that I would lie. That is, I will pretend that I forgot to put on my underwear, but I will not put on my underwear on purpose. The main thing is that the pussy doesn’t get hard, I thought then. I told my grandfather, “It’s kind of hot, I’ll go take a shower today, okay?” He said, “Of course, go.” And I was about 10 years old. Well, I went into the shower, undressed completely, and hung my panties on a hook. He stood on a stool, opened the shower, and stood under the water. And then, without putting on my panties, I stepped out of the shower. There were no other relatives there, only my grandfather. If they had, maybe I wouldn’t have done this. I came out of the shower completely naked. I went into the kitchen, trying not to allow an erection, and not allowing an erection, and not covering my dangling pussy with my hands, straight to my grandfather, who was in the kitchen. And between the kitchen and the shower there was a distance in the open air; the shower was separate from the kitchen building. The distance from the shower to the kitchen is about 10 meters. I was thinking about something so that my pussy wouldn’t get hard. I go up to my grandfather and say, “Well, will you give me boards from which I can build a structure?” And he told me, “I will.” I was like, “Oh damn, I forgot to put on my panties.” This was my lie. I said it after my grandfather saw me naked, from the front, with a pussy that I didn’t even cover with any hand, and having said these words, I covered my pussy with my hand, and immediately allowed an erection, my pussy began to harden and twitch like crazy, but already covered by my hand. I was 3 meters away from my grandfather, and I was visible to him.

I was about 10 years old then, and I did this because on that day when my grandfather opened the shower door and saw me naked, I experienced a pleasant feeling in my pussy, because my grandfather humiliated me so much. That is, I felt pleasure in my pussy, precisely because my grandfather saw me naked, without panties, and this was humiliating for me, well, shameful, insulting. If I had not been ashamed, I would not have experienced pleasure. It was my grandfather’s violence against me. But violence is pleasant for me.

And so, my grandfather and I went from the kitchen to the street, I held my hand covering my petrified, hardened, trembling but arched pussy. I covered my butt with my second hand, but I couldn’t cover it completely. We came to the place where I could build a structure, like a toy house out of boards and plywood. My grandfather tells me: “Let’s go to the barn, I’ll give you some boards.” I say "let’s go." The pussy felt so good that I didn’t dare stop this pleasure and go put on my panties. And I took my hand away from my pussy and said to my grandfather, “Grandfather, but don’t look.” "He says "You would still walk around without panties." I said nothing and squatted down, sideways to my grandfather, so that he would not see my protruding childish pussy pulsating and twitching upward. Grandfather went to the barn and brought boards and put them in that place, and said, “Well, play.” I got up and walked about 3 meters, and squatted down again, next to the boards, and didn’t try to put them on. They were hanging in the shower. me about 8 meters away. It felt so good in the pussy, so humiliating, shameful, ashamed that I didn’t dare allow myself to take this pleasant feeling away from me. Besides, I became so weak and scared, and my face was reddened that I probably did too. I wouldn’t have enough strength to get to the shower, but I only had enough strength to squat down and walk 3 meters to the place where I was supposed to build a house. And it was 8 meters to the shower, that’s more than 3 meters. in my childish head, then.

In short, I understood that I was humiliating myself in front of my grandfather, that it was shameful, but the pleasure in my pussy was so pleasant, shameful, and scary, so painful for my pride, It was insulting to my childish boyish pride that for the sake of this pleasure I decided not to put on panties, and to give myself up to this humiliation, to this humiliating game in front of my grandfather. A game of building a house from plywood and sand. With a bare butt and a bare pussy sticking out between my legs bent at the knees, I squatted. A game that put me in a position that I immediately, with fear, decided to hide from my peers, my friends, and boys. I sat there with my bare butt and bare pussy, completely naked, for several hours, playing with those plywood pieces and sand. I enjoyed my own mental torment that came from the fact that I was naked in front of my grandfather, and he looked at me and could see me. Although recently I was against him seeing me naked. I enjoyed my humiliation, so terrible that I could not even imagine how I would react if my friends, also children, saw it. Then, during this humiliation, while I was sitting completely naked in my grandfather’s yard, I then felt very weak, cowardly, disgraced, and I realized that my grandfather had insulted me by seeing me naked. My grandfather picked apples for me in the garden and looked at me from the side. The main thing is that there was a fence around his yard, made of wooden boards, between which there were gaps about 4 centimeters wide. And everyone who walked down the street could probably see my naked butt. But I myself chose and did it. True, under pressure from his grandfather that preceded this, but still - on his own.

Who has it happened that your relative made you an exhibitionist, moreover, in childhood, and precisely through violence? Or just an offer to be naked? Yes, I’m scared to write about this myself. Violence against a child, my getting my pleasure from my own, well, my, moral torment, from my own humiliation. The torment is moral, but the pleasure is physical. Children’s. And in that place that my boyish pride ordered me to keep covered with panties. I mean the place of the body. I betrayed myself. He betrayed his pride. Children’s, boy’s. For pleasure. Because it was very pleasant, it was a pleasure. That’s why I betrayed him. No, idiots and idiots are those who wrote in the book about the maniac killer Golovkin that for most people sex is not associated with fear, but with a joyful feeling of love, without a feeling of fear. End of quote. This kind of "sex" is not sex at all. Sex is associated with fear. Honestly, I’m not a maniac killer, I haven’t killed anyone, and I’m not going to kill anyone, but my childhood sex, without intercourse, I call it sex, it was so scary that for some reason I think that this, because my child sex was so scary, it was similar to the sex of Chikatilo or Golovkin. Only, they loved to humiliate others, and I loved to humiliate myself. But grandfather too, he tried his best, consider it his fault. Although there was never any sexual intercourse. I called it sex - my sitting naked in front of my grandfather. Can this be called sex? Sex without intercourse.

[Alyosha]

It also gave me great pleasure that my butt was naked, and my grandfather probably saw it. That is, it gave me pleasure - and the fact that my grandfather saw me naked from the front, but not only that, but also the fact that he probably saw me naked from the back. For the sake of pleasure, I went to the extent of making myself a man, a boy who is generally afraid to show his face to his grandfather and come to him. Well, yes, after all this, I wanted not to come to my grandfather.

I received all these pleasures precisely then, at the age of 10. These are children’s pleasures. That’s why they’re scary.

[Pitt]

[christmas]

Alyosha, how old are you now?

[Mongoose]

On one site I already seemed to be trying to master this muddle about a boy and a grandfather..... - there seemed to be a continuation of sex with my sisters and aunt and something else about the rape of children in the village!

[N@TyPaL]

here is real story about violence by my grandfather

[hello. I don’t hear]

I didn’t manage to read everything. Grandfather, I’m 10 years old, panties, door.

[Ded Mazsi]

I had a struggle with my grandfather. I was a little boy, 4-6 years old, who loved to put his hand in his panties, to pick up his pod. And my grandfather wanted to put nettles in my panties so that my hands would burn on the nettles. And I was afraid that my hands would burn in the nettles! And I didn’t even think about the fact that the underpants were also from nettles!!!

Sent after 23 minutes 12 seconds:
Alyosha, Well written!

[Anonym9]

Well, when I was little, 5-6 years old, I went to the beach on a farm without panties. I don’t think that’s why I became an exhibitionist

[Andron141]

Was it written while intoxicated?

[padshiy]

Andron141, but it seems to me because of the cigarette