Cry from the heart. The boss treated me very meanly

[Irina Krupnova]

Two years ago I got a job. And in September 2021, our boss Semyon Mikhailovich offered to go with him to Turkey (this is not instead of a vacation, but as if I was working). And like a fool I agreed. On the first day we arrived, swam, had dinner, danced, drank and went to our room. And when I went to the bath, he ran into my bath and attacked me. I resisted, but he somehow quickly did everything and essentially raped me. Well, after that he forced me every day. When we returned, I wrote a statement to the police. They refused. Where is the justice??? Do men always have sex on their mind????

[AlexTDV]

Well, how did you want to fly there just like that))

[Artem.Maxsimov]

Irina Krupnova, Before going I didn’t think why you need it invites? And the application is submitted at the crime scene (country, city) and not where you want.

[Mom]

Of course, sex is on my mind. Didn’t you know?

[Honey_bunny]

And the fact that number one for two with the boss didn’t bother you?
Do you mean forced? It was possible to record everything on video if the desire was to punish him, and not to force him.
With such a video, you could then force him every day yourself, or show his video to your wife or to the Ministry of Internal Affairs.

[Nastya]

What bad did you do?
Even if I just fucked him in the office, that’s fine. And then I drove around Turkey, and she complained.

[alexandr.khvostenko]

When I called, it was immediately clear to me why

[November]

She didn’t like that he finished so quickly. A woman who is dissatisfied is the same as someone who has been raped.

[Maxim123]

Well yes) otherwise it couldn’t

[Allah 1974]

There was an offer from the boss a long time ago for an evening spent with him, a promotion in position and salary. I had to quit and found a much better job and more money than this one. The boss left for another organization a couple of months later, and the new one put his protégé in that position.

[Shalun70]

Two years ago I got a job. And in September 2021, our boss Semyon Mikhailovich offered to go with him to Turkey (this is not instead of a vacation, but as if I was working). And like a fool I agreed. On the first day we arrived, swam, had dinner, danced, drank and went to our room. And when I went to the bath, he ran into my bath and attacked me. I resisted, but he somehow quickly did everything and essentially raped me. Well, after that he forced me every day. When we returned, I wrote a statement to the police. They refused. Where is the justice??? Do men always have sex on their mind????

I won’t blame or scold you, but there are things that you should have paid attention to... The world... the adult world is quite cruel and deceptive, so next time... so that you don’t get caught... if your parents didn’t teach you, then I’ll explain....
1) You should have thought about what Could you have any work to do there in Turkey (at your place of arrival)? For example.... we are negotiating with Africa about the supply of snow from Africa to Russia... In other words... do not react to illogical "travel" offers...
2) Find out immediately from the boss ... what exactly will you need to do and in what capacity are you flying there.... Any deviation from the previously discussed scenario should alert you...
3) Immediately find out the living conditions... and if you the boss is not attractive, then never agree to live in the same room with him... no matter what excuses he makes... To avoid his encroachments on your personal space...
4) Always have your own documents and money for the return trip... So that at any moment you can return to a safe place for yourself...
5) If you don’t like the boss, then don’t go on vacation with him... Remember the famous phrase “Who the girl has dinner, he dances with her”? It was said harshly, rudely, visibly. Any self-respecting feminist is simply obliged to spit in the face of the scoundrel who dares to say anything like that. However, many men are convinced that the key to a girl’s heart lies through her stomach. But only if you feed her not in your cramped kitchen (“Darling, I cooked these dumplings for you myself!”), but in a luxurious French restaurant (“Tell me, do you like oysters or do you prefer fondue?”). Of course, paying bills is a man’s job.
================================================ ========================================================
Now about justice in such situations... about the police and about reporting the fact of violence against you...
You can’t just point at a person and accuse him of shit... You always need to back up your words and your accusations with evidence...
That’s why you need to go to the police it was necessary to contact there... at the scene of the event... and not here at home, since the local police cannot carry out investigative actions there...
After the act of violence, you should have immediately called the police at the first opportunity... And besides a written statement... provide some evidence... Let’s say, torn clothes, bruises and scratches on the body... It is important that you do not wash or wash yourself before the police arrive so that biological traces of the alleged criminal can be removed from you... So do not wash clothes and bedding... and try to preserve any traces at the scene...

[Shalun70]

Irina Krupnova,
Rape – illegal acts of a sexual nature, most often against the will of the victim using force or threat, or in relation to a person who is unable to consent to sexual intercourse due to being a minor, mental illness, mental retardation, intoxication, unconsciousness or deception.

Consent is when someone gives consent, permission, or says “yes” to sexual intercourse. To receive it, each person must be free to say “yes,” “no,” or “stop” at any time. Consent can be withdrawn later - you can first say “yes” and then change your mind. You may say yes one day and then say no another day. Having sexual contact with someone in the past does not give that person permission to have sexual contact with you in the future unless you consent. A person’s silence is consent.

How to prove rape
Rape is a serious crime, and accusations against it require a strong evidence base. Is it difficult to prove rape? Yes and no. It all depends on the actions of the injured party. The natural desire of a person who has been subjected to violence is to take a shower and throw away clothes and underwear. Sometimes those who have been subjected to violence withdraw into themselves and do not want to share or talk about the incident with anyone. Sometimes weeks and months, or even years, pass before the victim decides to report the crime. This raises the question for many: is it possible to prove rapein a few years. The answer to this question is ambiguous, since it all depends on the evidence that the victim of violence can provide. The consequences of rape can be:

Physical injuries in the form of bruises and abrasions.
Injuries to the genital organs.
Psychological abnormalities and conditions.
Infections, which are sexually transmitted (gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia, trichomoniasis).
Hepatitis.
AIDS.
Pregnancy.
Since some of these symptoms are short-term, they are not can serve as evidence if the examination was not carried out in a timely manner. However, for example, pregnancy or the birth of a child is evidence that will be accepted by the court several years later. However, do not forget that every crime has a statute of limitations and it is better not to delay the process of collecting evidence and bringing charges. Accordingly, the question is how to prove rape several years later has several answers - in some cases it is impossible, in others there is a small chance. If a lot of time has passed, it is better to get advice from a lawyer, he will tell you whether it is possible to initiate a crime to prove a crime after a while.

How many days can it take to prove rape
To prove rape the victim has 1-2 days to collect evidence of the crime committed . A victim of violence does not have to file a report immediately - this can be done when the victim is ready to testify. But a medical examination is a mandatory procedure, without which it is very difficult to prove anything. It must be carried out “hot on the heels”, immediately after the incident. If the victim does not want to contact the police, he can contact a lawyer and an expert organization that has the right to conduct such examinations and undergo a medical examination, which may include:

General examination.
Taking swabs from the mouth, vagina and anus.
Removing beatings, or fixing other injuries.
Taking samples from under the fingernails.
Collecting other evidence.
In order for the examination to be as complete as possible, it is better to answer the expert’s questions in detail, so that he can understand which studies are worth conducting and which are not mandatory. The results of the examination can be stored for a long time, and the rape victim can file a statement when she is mentally ready to take such a step.

How to prove the fact of rape
To prove the fact of rape, it is necessary for law enforcement agencies to deal with this, who know where, what and how search. Evidence of a crime can be:

Correspondence in instant messengers or social networks.
Testimony of witnesses.
DNA analysis of hair, skin epithelium found at the scene of the alleged crime, bodily fluids, drops of blood.
DNA testing of other items - linen, clothing items, hygiene items, etc.
Taking fingerprints.
When a case is initiated, the investigation carries out a number of collection activities evidence and evidence, including:

Interview of the victim and witnesses.
Confrontations.
Medical examination.
Psychological examination.
Identification of the suspect, etc.
The sooner the investigation begins to collect materials, the easier it will be to prove the fact of rape in court.

How to prove attempted rape
Attempted rape is not the completion of malice for reasons , independent of the attacker. Simply put, the rapist stopped his actions either because the victim resisted or because third parties interfered with him. It follows from this that it is possible to prove an attempt at rape if:

On the victim’s body there are traces left in the process of active resistance - bruises, abrasions, epithelium under the nails, and so on. Also, torn clothes and linen, damaged pieces of furniture, and so on can be considered as evidence.
If the rape attempt was thwarted due to the presence of third parties, then witness testimony and examination results play a key role.
How to prove innocence of rape
Any man can become a victim of unfounded accusations. Today, the collective West is showing us how, on the basis of sweeping accusations, careers collapse and a person’s life goes downhill. However, the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation protects both victims of violence and victims of slander and blackmail. Today it is not enough to accuse a man of violence; one must also provide evidence that the sexual relationship arose against the will of one of the partners. And for this it is necessary:

The presence of traces of violence and coercion in the form of abrasions, bruises, etc.
The conclusion of a medical examination and a DNA test confirming the commission of sexual intercourse by the accused.
Psychological and psychiatric examination, which should confirm the adequacy of the “victim”. What to do if a lawsuit has been filed against you, and you are confident in your innocence? The main thing is not to panic and not to avoid interaction with law enforcement agencies. You have many opportunities to protect yourself:

You can challenge an expert organization and order an independent examination if the conclusions of the primary examination do not satisfy you.
Request a psychological examination of the “victim”. Competent psychiatrists and psychologists will quickly expose a blackmailer or deceiver.
Find witnesses who can either provide your alibi, or if sexual relations took place, confirm mutual sympathy.
Save and present to the investigation all correspondence and contacts with the alleged victim. Light flirting in correspondence can become a “lifeline” for you.
Testimony of witnesses who can confirm the negative attitude of the “victim” towards you will become another trump card.
Rape is a serious crime that requires strong and indisputable evidence. Therefore, various types of examination are the cornerstone both for proving the fact of rape and for refuting it.

[Shalun70]

Medical examination of a rape victim
Sexual violence is any type of sexual activity or sexual contact to which the victim did not consent. Sexual violence, including rape, can result in physical or psychological injury or illness. Victims of violence should be assessed for trauma, sexually transmitted infections, pregnancy, and acute or post-traumatic stress disorder; they are asked to give permission to be examined to collect evidence. Treatment includes infection prevention and mental health care.
Sexual abuse includes rapeand sexual coercion; it may involve the use of physical force or the threat of force by the attacker, or the intoxication of the victim by alcohol or drugs.

Although legal and medical definitions may vary, rape is generally is defined as penetration of the vagina or anus with any part of the body or object, or penetration of the victim’s oral cavity with a sexual organ without consent (1). People under the age of majority cannot consent to sexual contact with an adult.

Generally, rape is an expression of aggression, anger or the need for power; it is more violent psychologically than sexually. Non-genital or genital injuries occur in approximately 50% of women who have been raped.

Common rape and other forms of sexual violence, including childhood sexual abuse; The estimated life expectancy in both cases ranges from 2 to 30%, but is usually around 15–20%. However, the actual prevalence may be higher because rape and sexual violence tend to be poorly reported.

Women are the most likely victims of rape and sexual assault; however, victims can be people of both sexes. Men who experience violence are more likely than women to be injured, less likely to report the crime, and more likely to be attacked in a group.

General References
1. US Department of Health and Human Services/Office on Women’s Health: Rape. As of 06/16/22.
Symptoms and signs of rape
The results of rape can be:

Genital injuries
Extragenital injuries
Psychological trauma
Hepatitis
HIV infection
Human papillomavirus infection
Other sexually transmitted infections (for example, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia infection, trichomoniasis )
Bacterial vaginosis
Pregnancy
Most physical injuries are relatively minor, but sometimes severe tears to the upper part of the vagina occur. Additional injuries may result from physical abuse during sexual assault. Evidence suggests that lifetime negative experiences of rape are also associated with long-term physical health problems. For example, rape victims are at higher risk of developing asthma, irritable bowel syndrome, frequent headaches, or chronic pain than non-rape victims [1].

The most significant psychological symptoms of rape . In the immediate aftermath of rape, most victims experience fear, nightmares, trouble sleeping, anger, embarrassment, shame, guilt, or a combination of these feelings. They may be unable to remember important parts of the event (dissociative amnesia, which is a symptom of acute stress disorder or post-traumatic stress disorder [PTSD]).

Immediately after the attack, the victim’s behavior may vary from silence to talkativeness, tension, crying and trembling, up to shock and disbelief at what happened with dispassion or immobility. The latter rarely indicate a lack of concern; rather, they reflect avoidance reactions, physical exhaustion, or defense mechanisms that require emotional control. The anger may be directed at hospital staff or family members.

To be diagnosed with acute stress disorder, symptoms must be present between 3 days and 1 month after the incident.
Friends, family members, and officials may provide support or respond with judgment or other negative behavior. Negative reactions can impede patients’ psychological recovery after assault.

Long-term effects of rape may include PTSD, especially in women. Post-traumatic stress disorder is a trauma-related disorder; symptoms of PTSD include

Re-experiencing the trauma (such as flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, or images)
Avoidance (such as trauma-related situations, thoughts, and feelings)
nNegative effects on perception and mood (eg, constant distorted feelings of guilt about self or others, inability to experience positive emotions)
Changes in activity and reactivity (eg, poor sleep, irritability, problems concentrating)
For diagnosis PTSD symptoms must have lasted>1 month, must not be explained by the physiological effects of the substances or the disease, and must have significantly impaired social and occupational functioning. Patients with PTSD often also suffer from depression and/or other psychological disorders (eg, substance use disorder).

Symptom references
1. Basile KC, Smith SG, Chen J, Zwald M: Chronic diseases, health conditions, and other impacts associated with rape victimization of the U.S. women. J Interpers Violence 36; 23–24; 2021.

[Shalun70]

Examination of a rape victim
Purposes of medical examination after rape:

Medical examination and treatment of injuries; assessment, treatment and prevention of pregnancy and STIs
Collecting forensic evidence
Psychological assessment
Recommendations for crisis intervention and psychological support
If the victim is counseled before a medical examination, then they are asked not to throwing away or not changing clothes, washing, showering, brushing teeth, cutting nails, or using mouthwash as this may destroy evidence.

At the first opportunity, all victims rape cases are referred to local rape crisis centers or hospital emergency departments; such centers are staffed by specially trained professionals (eg, rape assessment nurses [SANE]). In some areas of the United States, there is a Rape Response Team (SART), which includes members of public health agencies, forensic specialists, local rape crisis centers, law enforcement, and prosecutors. The need for a medical examination after rape is explained to victims, but it is up to them to decide whether or not to agree to the examination. If consent is given, the police are notified. Most victims are deeply traumatized and require sensitivity, empathy and compassion when dealing with them. Patients may feel more comfortable with a physician of the same gender; All patients should be asked about their preference before the test. A female staff member must accompany the assessment process conducted by male staff members. Whenever possible, patients are provided with privacy and peace of mind.

All forensic evidence and medical data collected (standard contents of the form, see table Typical Medical Examination for Alleged Rape) are recorded on a special form (sometimes part of a set to search for evidence of rape); the form must be adapted to local conditions. Because the medical report may be used in court, the results must be written clearly and in language that will be understood in court.

TABLE
Typical medical examination for alleged rape
Anamnesis collection and examination
Before starting the examination, it is necessary to obtain the patient’s consent. Since memories of past events often frighten or embarrass the patient, the doctor during the examination should reassure her, show sensitivity and non-criticism, and not rush the patient. The examination must take place in a private setting. The physician will look for certain details during the examination, including:

Type of injuries sustained (especially in the mouth, breasts, vagina, and rectum)
Whether there was bleeding or abrasions on the patient or attacker (in order to assess the risk of transmission of HIV and hepatitis virus)
Description of the attack (where penetration was made, whether ejaculation occurred, whether a condom was used)
Use of aggression, threats, weapons, cruelty by the attacker
nDescription of Assailant
Many post-rape forms include most or all of these questions (see table Typical Medical Examinations for Suspected Rape). The patient should be explained why these questions are being asked (eg, information about contraceptive use helps determine the risk of pregnancy after rape; information about prior sexual intercourse helps determine the validity of semen testing).

The examination should be explained before each step; the patient may refuse any part of the examination. The results are reviewed together with the patient. If necessary, places of possible damage are photographed. The mouth, mammary glands, genitals and rectum are most carefully examined. Common sites of injury in women include the labia minora and the posterior vaginal wall. When examined using a black light lamp (Wood’s lamp), sperm and foreign materials can be detected on the skin. Colposcopy is most sensitive for mild genital injuries. Some colposcopes have a camera attached that allows you to simultaneously detect lesions and photograph them. The use of toluidine blue to identify the area of ​​injury is not universally accepted as evidence in court.

Examination and data collection
Routine examination includes a pregnancy test and serological tests for the presence of syphilis, hepatitis B and HIV; if the examination is carried out within a few hours of the rape, the information obtained about the presence of pregnancy or infections will relate to the period before the rape, and not to the results of the rape. Vaginal discharge or urine is examined for the presence of trichomonas vaginitis and bacterial vaginosis; Specimens should also be taken from all sites of penetration (vagina, oral cavity, or rectum) to detect gonorrhea and chlamydia (1). Patients may choose not to be tested for STIs since empiric therapy is generally prescribed for all patients.

Follow-up tests are performed to detect pregnancy and STIs:

nAfter 1 week: gonorrhea, chlamydial infection and trichomoniasis in patients who refused preventive treatment
After 2 weeks: pregnancy test
After 4–6 weeks: syphilis and HIV infection
After 3 months: syphilis, hepatitis and HIV infection
If the patient has amnesia for events related to the period of rape, a drug screen should be performed to check for the presence of flunitrazepam (the “date rape drug”) and gamma -hydroxybutyrate (not registered in the Russian Federation). The usefulness of drug and alcohol testing is controversial because evidence of intoxication may be used to discredit the patient.

Patients with severe tears of the upper third of the vagina, especially children, may require testing. laparoscopy to determine the depth of the injuries.

Evidence is collected that can serve as evidence of rape (see. table Typical medical examination for suspected rape); these typically include the following:

Clothing
Smears of the oral, vaginal and rectal mucosa
Combined scalp and pubic samples, as well as control samples ( taken from the patient)
Nail samples and subungual scrapings
Blood and saliva samples
If available, semen
There are many different kits available for collecting samples for examination, but some states require the use of special kits. Evidence is often absent or insufficient if a shower has been taken, clothing has been changed, or actions have been taken that involve sites of penetration, such as vaginal douching. The evidence gradually weakens, especially if> 36 hours have passed since the rape; however, depending on the law, the collection of evidence may continue for up to 7 days after the rape.

It is mandatory to follow a procedure for the protection of material evidence, with the help of which it is always known who is in possession of a given material evidence is now available. To do this, all copies are individually bagged, labeled, dated, sealed, and stored until transferred to another person (usually law enforcement or laboratory personnel) who signs for receipt. In some countries, DNA samples of the perpetrator are collected for further identification.

Clinicians should encourage patients to seek help to address the effects of trauma and restore their vitality (crisis intervention) and seek psychological support.

Reference materials on surveys
1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: Sexual assault and abuse and STIs – adolescents and adults. As of 06/16/22.

[Shalun70]

Treatment of rape victims
Psychological support and /or crisis intervention
If indicated, post-exposure vaccination to prevent hepatitis B and human papillomavirus (HPV)
If possible, post-exposure prophylaxis for HIV
Emergency contraception may be used
After the examination, the patient is given the opportunity to wash herself, change clothes, use mouthwash and empty the bladder or bowel, as necessary. A local rape crisis team can refer the victim to appropriate facilities for medical, psychological and legal support.

Physical injuries are treated conservatively.

nPrevention of STIs if necessary. Vaginal lacerations may require surgery.

Psychological support
Sometimes doctors may use non-specialized psychological support measures (eg, reassurance, general support, non-critical attitude) during assessment to reduce severe feelings of guilt or anxiety in the victim. The patient is explained the possible psychological and social consequences of rape and is given a referral to a specialist who teaches techniques for overcoming a crisis situation after rape. Since all psychological consequences cannot always be detected at the first examination, follow-up visits at 2-week intervals are necessary. Severe psychological effects (eg, compulsive replay, significant sleep disturbance, fear leading to an avoidance response) or psychological effects that continue to occur on repeat visits are an indication for follow-up with a psychiatrist or psychologist.

Family and friends can provide vital support (eg, gentle encouragement, reminders that rape was not their fault), but they themselves may need help from specialists in the field to cope with their own negative reactions.
PTSD can be effectively treated with psychotherapy and drug therapy.

Preventing or treating infections
Routine empiric STI prevention for adults and adolescents consists of: as follows:

Ceftriaxone 500 mg intramuscularly as a single dose or for patients weighing ≥ 150 kg, ceftriaxone 1 g (for gonorrhea and chlamydial infections), and
Doxycycline 100 mg orally 2 times a day for 7 days (for chlamydial infection)
For women - metronidazole 500 mg orally 2 times a day for 7 days (for trichomoniasis and bacterial vaginosis)
In case of hepatitis B The Center for Disease Control (CDC) recommends hepatitis B vaccination unless the patient has been previously vaccinated and has documented immunity. Vaccination should be repeated 1 and 6 months after the first dose. HBIG is not prescribed to prevent hepatitis B.

HPV vaccination is given to women and men aged 9 to 26 years if they are not vaccinated or are not fully vaccinated. Vaccination should be repeated 1 and 6 months after the first dose. For unvaccinated patients who begin HPV vaccination before age 15 years, a two-dose schedule (at 0 and 6–12 months) is recommended.

Counseling about empiric HIV post-exposure prophylaxis is recommended -infections. Most experts recommend preventive measures; however, risk factors should be considered and the patient should be informed that, on average, the risk of acquiring HIV after rape by an unknown perpetrator is low (1). The risk increases in the following cases:

Anal penetration
Bleeding (attacker or victim)
Male-male rape
Group rape (for example, rape men in prison)
Rape in an area with high HIV prevalence
HIV prevention is best started 72 hours.

Contraception
Emergency contraception should be offered to all women with a negative pregnancy test. As a rule, oral contraceptives are prescribed;> 72 hours after rape, their effectiveness is extremely low. If nausea occurs, antiemetics are used. Insertion of an intrauterine device may be effective for up to 5 days after rape.

If pregnancy results from rape, the patient should be counseled about obstetric care options and termination of pregnancy.

Treatment reference materials
1. Welch J, Mason F: Rape and sexual assault. BMJ 334 (7604): 1154–1158, 2017. doi: 10.1136/bmj.39211.403970.BE

[Ten]

What nonsense. Innocence itself went, hung out, drank...

[Shalun70]

Kymen,
50/50. .. no matter how it happened, don’t judge and won’t be judged... naive women are a dime a dozen... and so are bastard bosses...
if you are not one of them, then don’t take their side.... zashkvarishsa.... they will drive you under the bunk...

[Ten]

What are you talking about

[Shalun70]

Kymen,
Let me carry. ...

[Shalun70]

What bad did you do?
Even if I just fucked you in the office, that’s fine. And here I was driving around Turkey, and she was complaining.

You can’t allow yourself to be bullied... Then you will stop respecting yourself and no one will respect you.. .

Sent after 2 minutes 29 seconds:

It was long ago an offer from the boss for an evening spent with him, a promotion in position and salary. I had to quit and found a much better job and more money than this one. The boss left for another organization a couple of months later, and the new one put his protégé in that place.

You are smart!!!

[Ten]

Let me carry....

come to Grozny. They will meet you, feed you, and give you water like a dirty sheep. Let’s see what you’re carrying there...

[Shalun70]

Kymen,
Uh... . what are you telling me here.... it used to be that the formidable was TERRIBLE.... now Ramzan taught you to eat his own food...

[Ten]

Uh....what are you telling me here....it used to be that the formidable was TERRIBLE....now Ramzan taught you to eat svenya

so judging by your own posts, you are wildly aware of how to be lowered under the bunk. You started with this. Apparently you have a lot of experience in this.
It’s a waste of money to talk with people like you, that’s the end!

[Shalun70]

It looks like you have a lot of experience in this.
It’s a waste of time to talk with people like that, that’s the end of it!

You’re right about that no one cares about you and doesn’t support you... because this is ZASHKVAR!!!

[xxccxx]

After dinner at a restaurant, bowling and a nightclub, it was only in the bathhouse that Galya understood... why she didn’t have to pay for anything.