Why are psychologists against sex?

[root]

Due to problems with communication (anxious personality disorder), I have been visiting different psychotherapists for 10 years + taking antidepressants. In terms of communication, they helped me socialize a little and feel more confident.
In terms of sex, I worked through my fear of going to prostitutes and now I go. But I would still like it to be reciprocal, mutual desire... And with this, at my 34 years old, there is no way.
Completely different psychologists and sexologists, including , I often disapprove of the fact that I just want reciprocated sex. Seriously, some kind of "What about the soul?!" and like "Yes, it doesn’t matter." The fact that I personally know people who do have free sexual experience... is simply denied by them. The most enchanting thing was when I went to the south at the age of 25 to lose my virginity and there, before my eyes, two guys had sex with one girl, and then she told me that she didn’t want to spoil me and I would still find a good girl. I understand that psychologists and psychotherapists consider this girl and guys to be just as mentally unhealthy as me. They say that only relationships are important, and preferably in marriage, and preferably for the sake of procreation. I get the feeling that these specialists themselves have little sexual experience: they either have a weak libido, or they got married at the age of 18-20 and have been a couple for decades...and They don’t understand why everyone is so fussy about your sex. Or are they, like an old loser, pushing me such a picture of the world so that I worry less? What happens when I ask for clarification on female sexuality...here even male psychologists insist that women are sublime beings. That they don’t think about sex and if they do, it’s only out of love. And you need to treat girls like goddesses. And those who want sex are only prostitutes for money. Although my experience just confirms that prostitutes are not interested in sex at all. For them, this is a routine.
I just don’t really understand how specialists are so disconnected from what I see myself.
I understand that relationships are better than just sex, that not everyone has sex the way they want 24 hours a day , and there must be other interests....but why completely deny the simple presence of sex.

[March]

Why are psychologists against sex?

What do you mean, psychologists don’t have sex? Come on... Someone whistled in your ears.

[niqk]

My friend, what kind of psychologists do you go to with your problems? Probably to the paid ones? So they will continue to fool you for as long as possible! Spit on them! And go to a regular psychotherapist from the clinic. He
should set you up to overcome your inferiority complex. You must understand that you are no worse - and
maybe better than all the other guys! And there is definitely a girl in the world who is waiting just for you! All you need to do is find her! And so that the matter does not fall through because of your tightness, get rid of stupid complexes. Just decide and
tune in: yes, I can do this!!! Good luck!

[Ozasa]

A psychologist should not at all impose his interpretations on the patient and project his views onto him. Try changing therapist. Look for specialists from a different school than your previous ones, a different age, a different price category.

[Xyliganx6]

You don’t need them, this time and money are not a waste....
If you want, then just act.
Having achieved the goal, there will be less anxiety and self-confidence will appear. Self-esteem will increase.
Good luck Bro...

[root]

And go to a regular psychotherapist from the clinic.

I go to both paid and similar ones. Prescriptions for antidepressants are routine and prescribed by doctors from the PND.

get rid of stupid complexes. Just decide and
get ready: yes, I can do it

For 34 years I haven’t been able to JUST decide and get ready, of course it will work out in a minute... n

A psychologist should not impose his interpretations on the patient and project his views onto him. Try changing therapist. Look for specialists from a different school than your previous ones, a different age, a different price category.

Yes, I’ve been changing them for 10 years now... I haven’t seen anyone yet, Who said, for example, that meeting people for sex is the norm. This is generally a bad bad reason for dating and nothing will come of it.

What do you mean, psychologists don’t have sex? Come on... Someone whistled in your ears.

Have you not read the topic at all?

[Akteya]

Or maybe you shouldn’t see a psychologist, but a sex therapist?

[Lara]

Interesting) Well, let’s go, your fear of going to prostitutes, wasn’t the key point to socialize hetero relationships with women? You understand that prostitutes[/url] this is antisocial and psychologists could hardly recommend this, this is the encouragement of your possibly unhealthy fantasies.

[root]

You understand that prostitutesthis is antisocial

No. I think this is purely your opinion. The first thing a late virgin is advised to do is prostitutes. EVERYWHERE AND ALWAYS. In neighboring topics about virgins. And psychologists too. To many people, this profession seems quite acceptable.
Sexual surrogate partner is quite a method of psychotherapy in the West.
And you yourself invented unhealthy fantasies for me. I just didn’t particularly like poking people who were indifferent to me. Tactile contact is just liked and that’s all.
They get prostitutes much more than a specialist in my city. You know, I have to climb a crane in a blizzard and a rainstorm, with a load, with the risk of falling off (at work, a place was freed up, the previous one fell off), but for some reason this is a normal job in your opinion?
And there are different girls there : one of them actually yelled at me that I was too uptight - in your opinion, she’s just such a downtrodden victim! Just a slave, rattling with shackles.

wasn’t the key point to socialize hetero relationships with women?

This is the key point of my requests to psychologists for 10 years. Obviously it’s not as simple as you think. In fact, psychologists have nothing special to say: well, I’m not confident in myself, I don’t know how to meet people, and now at 34, I’m not very attractive in appearance... Well, what will they say besides: believe in yourself, try... Well and yes, I have hordes of cockroaches: at school girls bullied and humiliated me, I was raised by my sister, mother and grandmother... and all this gives me not very pleasant stereotypes. The psychologist either won’t bother with this (in CBT, for example) or will undergo psychoanalysis for years at my expense, so that by the age of 60 I will completely lose my prejudices.
And what do you mean by socialize hetero relationships? Maybe something else.

Or maybe you should not see a psychologist, but a sex therapist?

Maybe you have contacts of a sex therapist who does not treat impotence in men over 40? In our city, pathologists do only this. When late virgins come to them, they really don’t understand what they want from them (I myself only spoke to one on the phone, an acquaintance spoke to another).
And I went to sexologists - and these are the same psychologists who unless they blush at the word "pussy".