I'm asking for advice. What should I do?

[Jekka]

Hello everyone. I’m almost 40, as they say, I’m still in my prime, but I have a problem. So I’m a healthy man, everything is going well, work, women, but...
I’ll start from the beginning. When I reached the age puberty and began to understand the difference between a woman and a man, I began to spy on my mother as a teenager. I spied in the bathroom, in the bedroom with lovers (I didn’t know my father), wherever possible. Naturally, I engaged in teenage masturbation to the point of insanity. My mother is slender a tall brunette with size 4 breasts, a round butt and a pretty face. As I now understand, she realized that I was spying and began to show herself even more demonstratively. For example, in the bathroom, knowing that I was looking, she began to masturbate and the like.
One day I couldn’t stand it and climbed into her bed at night, but she drove me away. Then I wanted to die of shame, but over time the feeling of shame dulled and I began to live on.
I started dating girls , having sex with them and each time tormenting another vagina, I imagined my mother underneath me or on me.
It got to the point that if I didn’t imagine this, then nothing would work out for me. For many years now, my sex life has been This is exactly what happens. I’m not married, I still date women, but I don’t enter into a woman, but into a mother.
I’m probably sick, I’m not right in the head, but I don’t know what to do. This can’t go on forever and I’m scared to go to psychologists, I’m afraid of publicity, or worse, they’ll lock me up.
You can judge, it’s your right, but I ask for advice.

[Evgeniy-Spb]

You have delayed your request for 20 years. And there is no need to be afraid of anything or anyone. You can also turn to psychologists if you want, they haven’t heard such things. For your money, any whim - they will give any advice.
And you can finally close your issue with your mother. She provoked you. And the fact that she drove away, maybe she was not in a good mood? We’ll try another time. This desire has not gone away for many years, it is firmly ingrained in your consciousness. This means you need to be more decisive and solve your problems yourself. In any case, good luck to you.

[Affectionate]

Jekkka, I’ll tell you as a woman - you’re missing out important time! Now you are 40 years old, which means your mother is around 60, that is, she has reached menopause, her libido has dulled (or maybe, on the contrary, it has intensified), there are no menstruation (menopause), which means her reproductive function is at zero! This is the period when a woman’s fear of an unwanted pregnancy disappears, but the need for sex still remains. Moreover, at that age, not every man will look at her! Therefore, act more decisively, he will refuse once or twice, and the third time he will give in with a groan! Just don’t use violence under any circumstances! Everything can be done with affection! Good luck!

[Speedmen]

I’ll tell you as a woman - you’re missing out on very important time! Now you are 40 years old, which means your mother is around 60, that is, she has reached menopause, her libido has dulled (or maybe, on the contrary, it has intensified), there are no menstruation (menopause), which means her reproductive function is at zero! This is the period when a woman’s fear of an unwanted pregnancy disappears, but the need for sex still remains. Moreover, at that age, not every man will look at her! Therefore, act more decisively, he will refuse once or twice, and the third time he will give in with a groan! Just don’t use violence under any circumstances! Everything can be done with affection! Good luck to you!

I’ll tell you as a woman - you’re missing out on very important time! Now you are 40 years old, which means your mother is around 60, that is, she has reached menopause, her libido has dulled (or maybe, on the contrary, it has intensified), there are no menstruation (menopause), which means her reproductive function is at zero! This is the period when a woman’s fear of an unwanted pregnancy disappears, but the need for sex still remains. Moreover, at that age, not every man will look at her! Therefore, act more decisively, he will refuse once or twice, and the third time he will give in with a groan! Just don’t use violence under any circumstances! Everything can be done with affection! Good luck to you!
The author of Laskovaya was thanked for this message (5 in total):

Very smart, competent advice.